Safe Guy, Bad Boy.

My friends give me a lot of shit for obeying pedestrian traffic laws. I wait for the white man to let me know it’s OK to go, and *gasp* use crosswalks. What? I can’t help it if I like my life and don’t want to die. While I do crazy shit from time to time, I’d like to think I play it pretty safe … except for when it comes to love. Go fucking figure. 

I read somewhere that you should “Be with the safe guy”.  For some women, this is a red flag. It’s the kind of shit that will have them running in the opposite direction into the arms of an asshole. Why? I don’t know, but we’ve all seen it happen before. See, the safe guy is safe because you’e got him in the bag. He won’t cheat on you. He won’t manipulate you. He won’t lie to you. He won’t break your heart, and he won’t make promises he doesn’t intend to keep. These are all good things, but some women find safe synonymous with boring. You don’t want to be with the safe guy, just because he’s the safe guy. 

So you end up with the “bad guy”. The guy with the questionable reputation. The playboy. The guy you’ve heard nothing but bad things about, yet are still stupidly intrigued by. The guy who’s made you cry and question your self worth, yet you continue to see him. The bad boy has options, plenty of them. He’s afraid of commitment. And constantly has you defending his actions Nahhh, you don’t want to be with the bad boy either. Duh.

You should be with the guy that makes you feel butterflies. The guy that makes you want to scream in bed, but  most of all scream through the mountain tops I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU, because you just can’t believe how good you  have it. The guy that “keeps you on your toes without ever stepping on them”. The guy that respects you, but knows when to put you in your place. The guy that makes you forget that you were ever lonely, or heartbroken. The guy that reminds you that you deserve all the good you have in life.

And if you must be with a bad boy, make sure he’s safe with your heart.

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January / February in Pictures.

The new job is kicking my ass so hard I barely have time to eat, what more blog. I’m not complaining, I’m just explaining. I swear I’ll get my shit together in time so that I can get back to the old me (just not the broke me), and make time to write and work out again. For now, here’s a few pics from the beginning of the year when I went to San Diego and L.A. More after the jump!

IMG_9539 Continue reading

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A Friend Like Me.

I’ve said this a million fucking times – my friends are incredible. So much that I often wonder what on Earth I could’ve possibly done to deserve them. Surely, I don’t do enough. There’s rarely a moment when one of them isn’t paying for my dinner, or giving me a ride home somewhere. My friends are everything I’m not. Everything I wish I could be. And they always stick up for me when I bully myself

I often question how good of a friend I am. I look at the things I’m not able to do for the people I care about, and feel inadequate – even horrible at times. Until someone was a shitty friend to me. 

It took me a while to realize this too. Again, I looked at the things they did for me that I wasn’t able to do for them and felt I was the one who was lacking. But they always spot me when I can’t afford brunch. But they always offer to drive when we go out. Then, I realized that if this is what I was basing their friendship on, it meant they could be replaced with a paycheck and new tires. 

And so I ask you this: How have you been a good friend today? Are you a good friend? How can you be better? Would you want to be your friend if you met you?

I can’t promise I’ll ever be as good of a friend as I’d like to be, but I can promise to never make you feel as if you can’t come to me for my friendship. I may not be able to pick you up in a shiny new car, but I will always ride shotty with you in this journey called life. I may not always be able to spot you for Happy Hour, but I will always fade in on laughter. And I may never be able to loan you money, but I swear to never let you feel alone.

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So Tired.

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The Mantra- TBT 11.22.11

In Thoughts On Turning 30: Switching Careers, Jozen talks about the difference between talent and skill. In it he basically solidifies the saying, “Ideas without execution are worthless”. I cannot stress how true this is, because I have sadly exemplified the concept for years. I hope that from this moment on I personify the following personal mantra instead: Envision, execute, enforce.

Envision. I am a visionary. I don’t even care if I sound pompous for saying that because it’s a true fucking story. I see things before they happen, and notice things many don’t. I’d like to think it’s some sort of innate talent I possess, but I’m pretty sure it’s just a result of being a little lot crazy. Whatever the reason, on a good day my creativity is only surpassed by my imagination. Unfortunately, the only thing that surpasses my imagination is my lack of diligence.

Execute. Almost anyone can think of the next best thing. Almost no idea is original. And as much as I am a dreamer, I know I’m not the only one. Even if you have a better story than your co-worker, even if you sing better than your classmate, and even if you’re prettier than your neighbor – none of that shit matters if you lack the drive to execute, and apply your ideas. Execution is what will turn your co-worker into a best selling author, your classmate into a Grammy award winner, and your neighbor into a covergirl instead of you. But it doesn’t end there.

Enforce. Towards the end of December people begin to think of New Years Resolutions. By 9:37pm New Years Eve after three plates of food and before seven glasses of champagne, “Go to the gym” usually becomes one of these resolutions. By January 2nd, the employees of fitness centers all around the world will be having a field day. Come February 14th, and more than half of these new members will end up simply “donating” to the Bally’s fund.

This is probably the most crucial step in succeeding in whatever it is you plan on doing. It’s easy to get excited over something, but hard to stay excited. Especially if you don’t see the results you want right away. But once you get even just a little taste of the fruits of your labor, the blood, sweat, and tears will be that much sweeter.

Envision. Execute. ENFORCE.

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You Deserve.

You are enough. You are more than enough. You are all of the enoughs in the world combined. And you deserve all the love you have to give. You deserve it all baby. Kisses at night and cuddles in the morning. You deserve only happy tears, and cheek caresses that only end when you say they do. You deserve flowers at work just because – not because.  Cute stories over brunch, and scrunchie faces at the dinner table. You deserve “for nothing” gifts and for everything thank-you’s. Because you are appreciated, and you are important, and you are special, and you are everything. You deserve it all. Glitter and rainbows, hearts and flowers, all of that and then some. You are fire. You are rain. You are jello and creme brulee. You are the good parts of winter, the best parts of fall, and the favorite part of spring. You are the entire fucking summer.  You deserve to exhale. To love again. To be loved again. To feel like yourself.  You deserve to never have to question your worth ever again. 

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Rejecting Rejection.

A surefire way for me to let go of someone, is to find out that someone else has gotten a hold of his heart. They say instances like this won’t make the feelings you have for them go away, but it enables you to stop clinging to the desire to be with them. In my case, the feelings start to go away too. Not as fast as I wish they would, but they subside nevertheless. Thus, one would think it’s the best kind of rejection I could ever receive. That I would hope and pray for it. WRONG. Rejection is rejection, whether needed or not. It still hurts like shit, and there are still plenty of other (less world shattering) forms of rejection I’d prefer. The following are a few of those ways.

You could move. A minimum of 5 states apart. The more states the better. It’s a great excuse to not be with someone, but it only works if you don’t want to move to wherever they’re headed (Never mind that they don’t want you to come with them. That’s besides the point lol). There’s not much you can do or say when the person you’re dating (but not in a relationship with) says, “I’m moving to Colombia”. Nothing makes it easier to not see someone anymore that literally not seeing someone anymore.  Continue reading

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