Your Girl Got A Girlfriend.

When I was about 23, I met a pyt named Wahleen through one of my close friends Nino. Around the same time, I got my heart broken. During one of my many nights of wallowing Nino and Wahleen stopped by the apartment.

“We’re gonna stop by before we go to the club, Wahleen has a surprise for you.”

A few minutes later my doorbell rang and there they were. My best guy friend at the time, and his new girl friend with a Ralph Wiggum plush toy in her hands … just for me. I barely knew this girl, yet she managed to make me feel better even for just those few minutes. I wanted to cry all over again, but hugged her instead.

“I told her your favorite cartoon character was Ralph Wiggum so she bought it for you,” Nino told me the next day. “She just said she knew how it felt to have your heart broken.”

And that’s the thing about women. They know exactly what another woman needs to hear, see, or do to feel better. We have that infamous intuition that not only works with men, but women as well. So many of my male friends were trying to cheer me up at the time, and although I appreciated the pep-talks and dinners and Vodka shots to the face, apparently all I needed was Ralph Wiggum.

Last Sunday me and Rach shared junk-food, laughs, and some medicinal at the San mateo County Fair, and ended the day watching Bridesmaids. “The fair and a movie? You guys are my favorite couple,” Jey said. I’d have to agree.

Ray Lavender really had no idea what he was saying when he crooned, “My girl got a girlfriend.” But he was right. And your girls girlfriend probably has two more as well. So yes, there will be competition and you’ll probably need a step stool to reach the bar we’ve raised for your ass. Because we too wine and dine our girls, tell them they look beautiful, and say things to make them laugh. All without wanting anything asides from their happiness in return.

Not that we’d ever try to interfere, but it’s kind of a package deal and I have a good handful of girlfriends just waiting to meet my future boyfriend. Hey, I’m not a player I just crush a lot.