For someone who bares her soul to the blogosphere, I’ve always had a problem with telling people the way I felt. Naturally when I say people I really mean men I have feelings for. I could go as far as prepping myself for an entire week, having a drink or two to loosen up, then finally seeing that person … all so I can do absolutely NOTHING.
You know how some men rather walk into a speeding bullet than tell the truth? Well I rather jump of a cliff than communicate my feelings. Not just any feelings though. I’m good at the “Hey, not cool bro,” and “I don’t like the way you talk to me,” type shit. Even the “I miss you” crap is easy-peasy. It’s the, “So … umm … I like you and wanted to know …” kinda stuff that sends me running towards the hills.
Some things are better left unsaid. “Hey, I know we’re just booty-calls but I want to date,” is probably one of those things. But if the silence drives you crazy, you’re better off opening your mouth. I’m stubborn though, and I know I’m not the only one. I always feel the need to state my intentions, even when the other person doesn’t care what they are. Problem with me is, I can be prideful and regretful. So I rather keep my feelings to myself than let a dude know I actually care about him. Stone cold.
The thing is you do that, you hold all that shit in, and then you break. And it’s verbal throw-up. Or text diarrhea. However you choose to communicate. And then you text someone a some face-palm inducing line like “If you want me to leave you alone, just tell me and I will.” And then you wake up the next day to no response and text some shit that makes your friends want to shake the shit outta you like, “Damn you couldn’t even text me to leave you alone?” *Cringe*
So say what you mean, and mean what you say. It doesn’t matter who minds. What matters is you speak your mind, and most importantly, your heart.
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