I knew I was going to write about penis this coming Wednesday not only because it was hump-day, but because ever since 12:30pm today I’ve had penis on the brain non-fucking-stop. No, seriously. It went like this: Facebook, penis, Meebo, penis, marketing research, penis, recruiting party booking, penis, blogging, penis, confirm the private room of Lucky Strike, penis, more writing, penis, bathroom, penis, pinball … wait no, no pinball just penis, Balance Bar, penis, scan some immigration shit for the new COO, penis, Instagram, penis.
Penis. Penis. Penis.
I saw this guy over the weekend, and ever since Sunday I have been envisioning what his penis would look like when he changes from his basketball shorts and into what I’m hoping are boxer briefs. Rawr. It got to the point where I began to worry about myself, and started to feel like a perv. I couldn’t have been the only one could I? I took to Facebook to find out.
What I found out was NO, I am not the only chick with dick on the brain like it was bangs. However, I am one of the few chicks with dick on the brain that is willing to admit it on a public forum like Facebook. While it makes sense and is the norm, for some reason I never realized just how taboo the topic of sex still was amongst women even in this “progressive” world we live in – until today. I was mind blown that so many of my girl friends were quick to send me a private message, or instant message me saying, “Girl I think about it at least five times a day!” yet were so unwilling to leave a status comment. And I don’t blame them.
People like to be private about sex, and women who speak openly about it are usually judged in a negative light. It’s no wonder half of you guys think I’m a ho, and the other half think I’m some sort of sex messiah! Fuck. I don’t want my hump-day posts to define who I am as a writer or me in general, so I’ve made the decision to end my weekly hump-day posts and probably stop writing about sex from now on in general.
YEAH FUCKING RIGHT, I love it too much. LOL. Plus, I think it’s funny to talk about more than anything. So fuck you – PENIS, PENIS, PENISSSSSS, and let’s throw a vagina and a pair of tits in there for good measure. A lot of you have come to the conclusion that when it comes to subject matter here on the blog, I simply don’t give a fuck. I wish. The truth is, I care about what other people think about me way more than I should. But as cliche as it sounds, “I rather be hated for who I am than loved for what I am not.” And if you don’t like it – EAT A DICK. You just might like it.
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