Nice To Know You.

There’s an old saying that goes, “No more Mister Nice Guy.” Unfortunately, I can’t for the life of me remember the last time someone actually wanted to be known as the “nice guy.” Well, except for maybe Megamind and other fictional tales about nerdy news reporters that turn into superheroes via phonebooth. But not since Saturday morning cartoons can I recall a boy ever wanting to be the good guy. Even Venom had a cooler costume than Spiderman (at least in my eyes), and the villains always got the cooler weapons, better powers, and of course – finest bitches.

Which feeds into the myth that girls like assholes. But now, even women want to be assholes. Most recently “relationship advisor” Tionna Smalls wrote a book saying that it’s not always nice to be a good girl saying:

“Being nice has gotten you what? Are you married? Are you with the guy of your dreams? Does he drive you places? Nah? You have a big fat zero!”

Fuck. When did being good become so bad?

Thinking about it now, the last time being good has gotten any woman anything was in a Disney film. Now it’s all about behaving badly. As immature and unfair as I sound, being “good” has got me nowhere. I know plenty of people; men and women alike that have purposely hurt others, cheated, lied, used, and abused, and walk around with luck on their side and a smirk on their face.

It’s no wonder karma’s a bitch and not a good girl.

See, I don’t like karma and apparently karma don’t like me. It seems to only work against me. Jeyel says karma doesn’t work that way. If you’re only being nice for karma points, it’s not really being nice. And it’s not being good if you’re only being good because someone is watching. I know he’s right, but I’m still annoyed.

I think the problem is people tend to associate a “nice” person with a “weak” person. They mistake being kind for being a pushover. They think compromise, communication, and trust are synonymous with the boring, lackluster, and not caring. And it sucks.

It sucks that you are so delusional, and misinformed. There. Asshole enough for you?