Mr. Telephone Man

I’m not sure what took me so long to write about phone sex seeing as it’s pretty common (I think?). Perhaps, it’s the fact that I haven’t participated in years, or that it’s not really my “thing.”

At any rate, I vaguely remember the very first time I had phone sex. However, I do know that it was with my boyfriend of forever years and occurred when we were either graduating high school, or during our freshman year of college. He was living in Oakland at the time, so sneaking around on the phone ’til sunrise happened rather frequently. How it started I don’t know, but obviously we all know how it ended.

The only other person I had phone sex with was with the next guy I fell in love with and dated for about a year or so. He was originally from New York and would visit home pretty often, so lengthy phone conversations were also a part of our routine. Again, I don’t remember how it started. Only how it ended, and me having to come up for air because I would bury myself under my pillow and blankets so that the person in the next room wouldn’t hear me.

Although I’ve only had phone sex a handful of times, I did enjoy it. It’s just that I would always feel embarrassed afterwards. You go from telling someone how much you miss their big, hard dick inside of you, to moaning, to climaxing, to … painting your nails? Like, “WTF just happened?” *Hangs head low in shame*  Plus, there’s so much room for error. Someone could hear you, you could lose reception, or someone could call on the other line. There’s also no real way of telling if your partner is whole-heartedly into it. I’ll be damned if I’m getting all hot and heavy with myself and my man is on the other line  yelling “Suck my dick bitch,” only to find out he’s really playing Call of Duty.

Nowadays, technology has taken phone sex to a whole other level. There’s sexting, FaceTime, and Skype sex (which I think I’d be even more embarrassed to have btw). As an adult, I feel like it’s a novelty rather than a necessity. A way to change things up, and keep the spice alive. So for these reasons, my lines for phone sex haven’t been completely disconnected. Would I have phone sex again? In the drop of a dial tone. Hopefully the next time will be off the hook.