Abi cares if don’t nobody else care.

Everyday I think about the struggles that people are going through – both big and small, and am so proud of how they continue to slay at life. So much that I was inspired to write a post about it. So shout out to …

All  my folks out there just killing shit and slaying life. Balancing babies and brunch.  Business and bachelor parties. I want to be like y’all when I grow up. 

Shout out to my females who’ve been publicly humiliated by their partner, yet kept their clap back in private. The ones who didn’t post blatant memes, or fire shots via social media updates. I see y’all doing your thang, moving forward, and letting karma do the dirty work for you. 

Shout out to all the fellas who don’t get into relationships unless they know they can be faithful. Shout out to all the fellas who were in relationships and broke up with their girlfriends instead of cheating on themLook at you caring about other people’s feelings and shit.

Shout out to everyone who “Envisioned. Executed. and Enforced”. The go-gettas who had an idea, and made it a reality. Creating social media business pages, and applying for EID’s.  Who’s a big boy/girl now?!

Shout out to those who aren’t where they want to be right now, but aren’t letting it define them. Those who haven’t given up on the dream although they have a hard time sleeping. 

Shout out to my bitches that are all put together commuting and at the airport. And shout out to my bitches looking flawless in sweats. Special shout out to my pregnant bitches in heels – y’all the real MVP. 

Shout out to the folks who remain loyal even if it’s from a distance. Shout out to those who do the right thing even when no one’s watching, and even if no one will ever know. Shout out to my soldiers who kicked cancer’s ass. Shout out to everyone who still care even though we live in a world where giving zero fucks is highly encouraged and glamorized.Shout out to those who have no problem saying sorry, and to those who have no problem accepting apologies. Shout out to those who still think LOVE > Everything, y’all are a dying breed. 

Shout out to my people who have no idea how the fuck you’re going to get up everyday to face life, but do it anyway. You are a motherfucking BAWSE. 

And shout out to YOU. For still clicking on my links. Still reading my posts. Still reposting the ones that hit home And still believing in me. 

 

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Don’t Go Breaking Your Heart.

I am forever in my head. Telling myself things I need to hear, and especially telling myself things I don’t need to hear. Telling myself the wrong truths, and especially telling myself the harshest lies. I have this game I like to play. One where I want to win, yet sabotage myself any and every chance I get. 

The rules: Two teams: you and the opponent. He can have other teammates, but he doesn’t need to tell you. You can have other teammates, but you don’t want to.

How to Play: Your opponent should show minimal effort. You know, just enough to stay in the game. Not enough to make a commitment to play until the end, but just enough to give a dog a bone (my bad, forgot to mention you’re the dog). Just enough for you to blame yourself whenever a bad play is called, or they cheat. Just enough for you to think there’s a chance. Just enough for you to turn the inch into a mile. 

Do not pass GO – but you will go everytime you know you shouldn’t. Do not collect $200 – only excuses. The game ends … when you have a broken heart. I played this game with the last guy I was seeing. He won. Extra bonus point for him, because he didn’t even know he was in the game. 

Posted in Love & Relationships | Leave a comment

#neverforget

I got a random dm the other day asking how I was. It was from an old colleague of mine that I worked with straight out of college. When I figured out who it was the first thing I thought was, “Oh, it’s your triflin’ ass”.  

Long story short – and I’m sure it’s a story you’re all familiar with one way or another: He had a crush on me. We hung out a few times (platonic in my eyes). He got no play from me. “Ex” who I was acquaintances with caught on to what was happening. He manipulated the story. “Ex” played passive-aggressive with me until I put her on blast and called her out. Then, she tried to play dumb like she had no idea what I was talking about. 

This story ended about a decade ago, but it’s still one of many stories that I haven’t forgotten. I don’t hold grudges, I remember thingsBut most of all, I remember how people made me feel. This is a blessing and a curse, because I also remember the people who made me feel like I was worth waking up in the morning when I was convinced that I wasn’t enough. 

I remember the people who let me sleep on their couch just so I wouldn’t have to listen to the destructive thoughts in my head alone at night, just like I remember the people who put me there. I remember those who always replied to my texts even when they were tired of reading them just as much as I remember those who only texted when they wanted something.

Point blank, I remember every single person that was there for me during my darkest hours just as much as I remember those who I allowed to dim my light.  This is why I still make an attempt to keep in touch with people or text to see how they’re doing when it’s very apparent they feel indifferent about having me in their life. I’m like the kid in middle school vying for friends. It’s a little pathetic, but I remember. I remember what you’ve done for me even if you don’t do it anymore. 

This is also why my old co-worker will probably get a generic response from me – if one at all. It’s a little petty, but I remember. It’s not that it’s been bothering me all this time, I just don’t care to be bothered.

Posted in Life | Leave a comment

RelationShits (v2)

Boyfriend-girlfriend. Parent-child. Friend-friend. Relationships are relationships. Regardless of who is involved, it’s based on the way two or more people interact and treat each other. To no surprise, my last “relationship” was a bad one. 

It started out like most of my relationships, optimistic and full of excitement. We celebrated wins – big and small, and were constantly learning about each other. I was curious. I was invested. However, I began to notice that while my counterpart treated me seemingly well, it wasn’t the case for those around me. Our “honeymoon phase” lasted less than a year before I saw the relationship for what it truly was – a one way street.

My “partner” was the exact opposite of the definition. We didn’t work together, and I never felt understood or supported.I was constantly giving without receiving so much as common courtesy or respect in return, and those around me took notice. Needless to say, it was an abusive relationship. One that I endured for 2 years. Never in a million years did I think I’d be one of those women who tolerated that kind of blatant disrespect. Continue reading

Posted in Life | Leave a comment

How to Make the Ordinary, Extraordinary.

I woke up today and immediately went downstairs to make breakfast. The extra hour in the morning I have to do this is a luxury I’ve recently acquired from the new job. I made my my morning elixir and some toast with almond butter, strawberries, bananas, and chia seeds on top. I ate it while watching the morning news (or at least what I could tolerate until I switched it over to Botched), and showered afterwards. It was just another, ordinary day. 

Except when I got in my car, the radio was playing Nas’s Oochie Wally and I automatically got into full-blown ratchet-girl-dancing in the basement of a house party mode, body-rolling in my seat as I switched gears. By the time I got to work, I was feeling energized, focused and dare I say it – GOOD?

If you know me, then you know that I am not the one to be feeling all positive and shit. Yet that’s exactly how I felt sitting at my desk. Naturally, I began to question this optimism. Thinking it’s a fluke, and that something bad was bound to rain all over my parade. I started to feel silly about being happy. Then, I started to feel silly for feeling silly about being happy. I felt like the universe was going to take it all away at any minute. WHO FEELS BAD FOR FEELING GOOD? Continue reading

Posted in Life | Leave a comment

what does your anxiety feel like?

Imagine receiving a phone call from someone you rarely talk to. If you’re anything like me, your guts will slowly make its way up to your neck, knowing that their number on your caller ID can only mean something bad occurred. Now imagine them leaving a voicemail (an even rarer occurrence), but not being able to call them back until your lunch break 45 minutes later. Remember how you felt during those 45 minutes.

Imagine making breakfast one morning. You know, letting the pan warm up while you whisk away at some eggs. It’s nice outside, and you think you can get away with wearing shorts that day. Now imagine bursting into tears just seconds later for (seemingly) no reason.

Imagine a break up so bad that you don’t want to have any connection whatsoever to your ex. You’ve unfollowed them on social media, disconnected yourself from mutual friends, and make it a point to not frequent the same places. Now imagine they’re just around the corner – with their new boo. 

Imagine laying in bed on what most people would deem a good day. No barking from the dog, no smog, and mama cooked a breakfast with no hog. You think about how lucky you are to be surrounded by good people, and how fortunate you are to have a roof over your head and food on your plate. Then, you think surely things are too good to be true and it will all come crashing down any second now. Then, you think of how unsuccessful you are. Then, you think of how you’re going to die soon with nothing substantial accomplished. Then, you think of how it feels to be dead. Then, you think that you can’t even think of how it feels to be dead, because – YOU’RE FUCKING DEAD.  Continue reading

Posted in Life | 1 Comment

Shit Bitches Love Pt. VII

It’s Friday. I got the Soul Food soundtrack playing on Spotify, and the Dubs are playing tonight, so why not post another installment of “Shit Bitches Love”. For those of you who are new to this rant, it’s pretty self-explanatory: a post about the shit bitches (including myself) love. Usually, these are trends we love to hate. Or just love. Or just hate. Read on, and you’ll see what I mean. 

Those damn letter balloons. I want to track down the origin of every party post on Pinterest just to find out who started this trend. Every event you attend – whether it’s a bachelorette, bar-mitzvah, or divorce party, you’re sure to find some mylar letter balloons spelling out the obvious like below. What’s next? A #RIP set up at someone’s funeral? Having said that, best believe I got some for my best friend’s baby shower. Why? Cuz bitches love balloons, DUH. 

unnamed-3

I mean if you’re gonna do it, do it right.

Avocado toastI’ve always loved avocados. On my toast, in my eggs, on chips, in my glass with milk and sugar (What? You know us Filipinos are weird eaters). Hell, I even pay an extra $1.80 for that bitch just so my chicken burrito bowl is lit. But lately, the whole avocado toast bit has taken the world by storm. It used to be you’d smoosh some avocados with a little S&P and put it on some bread, but now they’re putting everything on that shit … and this bitch is eating it. Bitches love toast you can take pictures of.

Despacito. I swear there was one day where I saw 3 photos on IG with the caption Despacito on it, and for a few weeks after that I kept hearing people talk about it. Meanwhile, I couldn’t tell if it was a person or a movie. I JUST heard the song for the first time 2 days ago, and I honestly don’t get it. Then again, I didn’t get Tevas either and now I may or may not have a pair in my closet. Like with many songs, this one will probably grow on me. Bitches love things that grow on them, ayeeee.
35028380_001_d

Quay. My bad, this one is actually a little overdue. So much that bitches might not even love this sunglasses brand anymore. Just know that when they did, they did it looking like a trendy bug (and I say that as a person who owns a pair of Quay’s). Bitches be buggin. 

Sneaky VauntIf you’re scratching your head wondering WTF a Sneaky Vaunt is, I don’t blame you. Because no one cares about a company name or even product when the person advertising it got their titties wildin out. If that sounds a little familiar, it’s because Sneaky Vaunt is the brand that makes that strapless, push-up bra that every IG model and C-D list celebrity is promoting. And if I had anything to actually push up, this bitch would probably love it too. Bitches love a little help every now and then. 

Posted in Life | Leave a comment