3 ways I went from being miserable to being a slightly decent human being

I was going to attempt to write a witty introduction to this post, but it’s the Devil’s asscrack degrees outside and I don’t have the brain capacity. Have you Googled an online recipe lately? It legit takes at least one minute to read past all the mumbo-jumbo to find the ingredients alone. It’s nice that this peach cobbler reminds you of your Great-Gamma Emma back in Georgia, but I do not care for a detailed description of your the first time you picked a peach in her backyard dammit! Having said that, let’s get to it shall we?

Meditating. This is nothing new. Hundreds of thousands of people have attested to what the wonders meditation has done for them for as long as I’ve been alive. Meditating is one of those things that is easier said than done. It’s such a simple task: Take 10 minutes – even 5, to make peace with yourself in silence. Yet, it took me 5+ years to embrace and do consistently. Meditating is also seen as one of those silly, hippy-dippy exercises that only people who believe in Mercury Retrograde follow. Whatever it is, believe me when I say that meditating has prevented me from throwing things across the room, getting into fighting matches with my boyfriend, having a nervous break down at work, and going into full-blown panic attacks in public. Tell me that shit’s silly now. Meditating is different for everyone, but for me it’s a way to recalibrate. A way for me to get out of my head and look at things objectively.

Being a plant mom. This should come as a surprise to NO ONE. A little over a year ago, I succumbed to the Instagram trend of houseplants as decoration and now I walk into Home Depot for pliers and come out with ferns. I’m kidding, I don’t own any ferns (at the moment). But I do own 20+ other plants that I’ve named and talk to on a weekly basis. What started out as a risk considering I killed all the old office plants along with 6 succulents, turned into a full fledged obsession LOVE. It’s true when they say that taking care of plants can be therapeutic. You give something love, and it returns it. In addition to making your place look beautiful, they’re also air purifying. Can’t recall the last time pliers did that.

Giving gratitude. My 34yo self wants to slap my current self just typing out the word gratitude.  I used to have a love/hate relationship with it. Back then, acknowledging the positive in my life only made me feel worse. It only emphasized that I had so much to be thankful for, yet was still depressed. I also argued that there was nothing wrong with wanting more for yourself. In short, the concept of gratitude made me feel resentful towards the universe, other people, and most of all – myself. In reality, I wasn’t in the right mindset to fully understand what gratitude was.

Once you truly understand and appreciate gratitude, you realize how beautiful life is. You begin to appreciate even the tiniest things. At acupuncture today, I thanked the universe for those 30-40 minutes of solitude. That then, lead to being grateful for the beautiful 80 degree day – the health and wellness benefit to pay for acupuncture – the job I had that provided the benefit – the bosses I worked for – my co-workers – catching up with old friends – other friends that were there for me – THIS BEAUTIFUL LIFE. It was cray for me to have an upward spiral instead of a downward one.

Back then, I thought that if you gave thanks for what you already had, the universe would give you more. I learned that that’s not how it works. The fucked up part about it is, once I gave thanks just to give thanks – I started to receive more. 

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Found this photo by the awesome Jaime Poquiz and thought I’d use it ‘cuz I looked seemingly happy lol. This was originally for the relaunch of this blog that obviously hasn’t happened yet. At this rate, I’m going to need to take a whole new set of photos.

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