It’s refreshing and heartwarming to look around at my friends knowing that despite years of dating fuckbois and cheaters, we all ended up with loving and respectful men. Still, this doesn’t mean we don’t get annoyed by them. One thing most boyfriends just don’t seem to understand is how to take a decent photo. Either they’re an actual photographer or they take pictures with their finger on the lens, no in between. Obviously, these are not deal breakers by any means, just petty inconveniences. So in an attempt to help you out a little, here are the baesics on how to be a good IG boyfriend/husband.
1. CENTER THE GODDAMN PHOTO. It really doesn’t take much to make us happy. Matter fact, we’ll probably reward you if this simple feat happened. Just look at the subject (us) and put us smack dab in the center of the frame. Think of a goal post, then imagine your girlfriend right in the middle of it.
2. FOCUS. While “bokeh” is considered a form of art, that’s not what we’re going for most of the time. I also didn’t know what the term was called until I Googled it just now, so I don’t expect boyfriends to know what it is. However, it’s pretty simple: make sure the picture isn’t blurry. If your girlfriend has 2 noses in the picture or you can’t even tell it’s her, then you should probably retake it.
3. Make us look pretty. Have I completely lost you yet? We don’t mean give us a makeover, we mean don’t hand us back our camera after taking the photo just for us to find a picture of us with our mouth catching flies or eyes closed. Please see figure 1a as an example.
Once you’ve gotten a grasp on the aforementioned and want to challenge yourselves, you can level-up with the following tips.
1. Know our angles. I suppose it’s too much to ask you to know what our good angles are, but at the very least know what they aren’t. How will you know? Easy.
Hint: If we have a double chin or look pregnant or bald, it’s probably not a good angle. Again, please see figure 1a as an example.
2. Know your ratios. Do not read this unless you’ve mastered the art of centering the photo first, it’s not for the faint of heart. Just like “I before E except after C” there are certain situations where an off centered photo actually works better. Usually, this is referring to “the rule of thirds” as seen below:
3. Hint for the ladies: Men are simple creatures, and don’t understand the need to take a picture of food and shit like that. They only tolerate you taking photos in front of every pretty wall and storefront, so try to make it as painless for them as possible. Take a photo of exactly how you want the frame to look as a reference for your man. And if that still doesn’t work, just remember that you’ve had boyfriends that treated you like shit and this one just can’t take a centered photo. Real life boyfriend > Instagram boyfriend.