A while ago I read an article about the importance of calendaring. As an Office Manager, I am obviously about that life. “To do list by themselves are useless,” it said. As someone who has yet to cross off a single item on my summer bucket list I can attest to this (learning how to swim can wait another year right?).
However, I’m old school and always will be. While my Google calendar looks like the last moments of a losing game of Tetris, I will always refer back to my Daily Planner for confirmation. Yes, I still write things down with paper and pen *gasp*. Calendars are a gal with office OCD’s best friend, until you have to make an appointment to hang out with your actual best friend.
This is what happened to me a few weeks ago. It was inevitable, but it didn’t hurt any less. Now let me be very clear about what I am about to say. I understand that as you get older, people start having families of their own and you see them less. I understand that things change in general. I understand that the change doesn’t mean your friends care about you any less. I understand that everyone is busy. I understand that (most) everyone is doing their best. I understand that my friends shouldn’t have to slow down their life on my account. I understand that I should use this alone time to my advantage and focus on things that are important to me.
But my friendships are important to me.
One of my longest friendships and closest friends involves someone that I would barely see once in a relationship, so I get it. The difference is she was always like that. It’s different when you see someone on a weekly basis, and then have to wait in line to make an appointment. Sudden change isn’t a bad thing, but it is easier to notice. It’s neither wrong or right – it’s life. It’s also the norm. Doesn’t mean I can’t be bummed about it though.
I just miss the days of spontaneous happy hours and random “What are you doing, I’m coming over to do nothing”. Nowadays, if I’m having a bad day to the point of tears, I feel as if I have to check a calendar first before calling friends to vent. I’m not a needy friend, I’m just a girl who will always want to spend time with her friends.
Since making that appointment to see my best friend, we spontaneously had a beach day together. Maybe it was because her boyfriend had prior plans and she needed to kill time, or maybe she misses hanging out as much as I do. Either way, I’ll take it. Time well spent, no matter how long, unplanned or scheduled is … time well spent.
And who knows, maybe one day I will fall in love and want to spend every, waking moment with my boyfriend. Or maybe I’ll have a dream job that I happily devote all my time to. Until then, just know that I will never have to make time for my friends. I will always have time for my friends.