Porno, No, No!

Remember when I said that I even surprise myself sometimes with the shit I divulge on this blog? Well, today is one of those times. As you know, I watch the porns. Not as much as I used to, but still probably more than I’d like to admit. Especially now that I’m going through a drought. See, I only watch porn when I have no real life person to think about and masturbate to. I used to have a favorite porn star, Johnny Sinns. He’s still my favorite due to lack of options, but lately I’ve been exploring other … err ventures in pornography. Below are three categories in the drop down menu of PornHub that I may or may not have visited before.  

Hentai. For those of you who are lying about not knowing what hentai is, I’ll humor you. It’s a subgenre of anime focusing on overtly sexualized characters and sexually implicit imagery/plots that are often times quite offensive. So naturally, it made me curious SMH. For the record, I ain’t down with that tentacle alien shit. This doesn’t make me feel any better for watching hentai, I’m just sayin. What’s distinctive of hentai is the way the women have extremely annoying high pitched voices and always sound like they are not enjoying the sexy one bit. Matter fact, at first glance it seems like they’re getting raped. Except, their nipples are always hard, they’re always wet, and they always have an orgasm. What’s funny about hentai is the characters dicks and tits are always massive. 

This is the image Wikipedia had for the definition of tribbing. And well, I found it hilarious.

This is the image Wikipedia had for the definition of tribbing. And well, I found it hilarious.

Tribbing. I had no fucking idea what tribbing was until just last week (I swear!), but apparently it’s the formal term for scissoring. Hah! Where did that word even come from? Try + rubbing?  Hey, it was an educated guess. But according to Urban Dictionary (who at this point might as well sponsor my blog along with PornHub), it derives from the Greek word “tribas” (lesbian) and “tribo” (to rub). Holy shit, I learn something new everyday. If you’re still unclear, it’s two chicks rubbing their clits and vulvas together until they (hopefully) cum.

Double Penetration. I already knew what this was of course and even though just saying the words outloud make my face gringe and asshole pinch, I still checked it out. I’m literally shaking my head at myself as I type this. I guess I just wanted to see if it was possible for a woman to even pretend that she enjoys having two dicks in her at the same time. And you know what? I kinda get it. THIS DOES NOT MEAN I AM INTERESTED IN PARTAKING, so calm your testicles. I can just sympathize with how a woman could possibly enjoy it. I’ll just never understand how a straight man can stand another dudes balls rubbing against the top of his dick. 

 

 

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