The worst years sometimes teach the best lessons, and I’ve learned a lot in the past 12 months. Some things new, and some things harsh reminders of mistakes I’ve already made.
I’ve learned that some friendships only exist to serve a specific purpose. Whether they’re intentional or not, some people are put in your life for reasons other than a long-lasting bond. Either they teach you a lesson, or fill a temporary void until something or someone better comes along. Some people fall in love or get a new job, and forget who was there for them when they were heartbroken or broke and unemployed. Don’t feel hurt for too long – if they don’t need you in their life, you probably don’t need them in yours either.
I’ve learned that “people will notice the change in your attitude towards them but not their behavior that made you change”. Some people get so wrapped up in an aspect of their life, and forget that life exists outside of the little bubble they live in. Then, when they finally come back to reality, they’ll wonder why you’re acting “funny” without ever realizing the part they played in the demise of your relationship. Without stopping to think for one minute that maybe you are only reacting to how they’ve been acting. By that time this epiphany occurs, it’s usually to late to forge anything.
I’ve learned that years of friendship does not guarantee a good friend. As with most things, quality over quantity. It’s not about how long you’ve known someone, it’s about how they’ve been there for you – or haven’t been there for you.
I’ve learned that not everyone deserves the same consideration. In a perfect world, people will treat you the way you treat them and what you give is what you get. However, not everyone will value you the way you value them. Always do things because you mean it, and not because you expect something in return. However, don’t accept any less than you deserve either.
I’ve learned that not everyone thinks the same way. One would think this is too obvious to be on this list, but you’d be surprised. Hence, the exact reason it’s on the list. Not everyone is going to be as thoughtful, or polite, or considerate, or sensitive, or in touch with their feelings, or straight forward, or honest, or as anything as you are. It doesn’t make them right or wrong, it just makes them different.
I’ve also learned that I care too much about things I shouldn’t worry about. I over think things. I place more importance on things and people that I shouldn’t. That I let people’s actions dictate the way I feel. That I tend to dwell on feelings of hurt and anger. That while everyone else is living their life, I’m worried about it instead of living my own.
But most of all, I’ve learned to not give a fuck anymore.