You are not going to believe me, but there is a simple solution to every problem.
With the rarest of exceptions, there are usually two clear cut options (if not more) one is faced with when making an important decision. It’s people – not “situations” that make things complicated. I should know, I’m one of those people. Sometimes, the difficulty doesn’t actually lie in making the decision either, it’s sticking to it. Picking Option A or Option B is simple enough. However, choosing Option A then teetering back and forth into Option B and C and D territory is where things get convoluted. This is exceptional when it comes to matters of the heart.
Say your boyfriend cheats on you, but is more than apologetic, wants to work things out, and says he will never do it again. You now have the choice of staying or leaving. It doesn’t matter if there is a right or wrong answer. What matters is owning your decision. Stress, anxiety, grief, sadness, etc. doesn’t occur when you forgive someone who has hurt you. It manifests in your inability to truly live in the moment and make peace with yourself.
So if you’re going to fuck up, FUCK UP HARD. Fuck up so bad that you gotta fuck down. If you’re going to reconcile with someone that lied to you, treat them as if you’ve never felt pain before. If you’re going to stay with someone that hurt you, love them whole-heartedly. Forget until you are able to forgive. Forgive until you are able to forget. Do not look through their phone. Do not pick fights with them. Do not regret. Do not look back. Do not question them, and most of all do not question yourself.
Go hard or go home. You shouldn’t half ass anything you are passionate about. Especially love.