Giving the wrong men three many chances has taught me to give everyone else at least one chance. That’s why I went out on a date with Mr. Wonderful despite having zero interest in seeing him romantically. It’s also why I went on a second date with him even though our first date only confirmed how much I didn’t see a future with him. We had great conversation and similar interests, but I just wasn’t physically attracted to him. I couldn’t imagine his dick inside of me #sorrynotsorry.
This is how I feel everytime someone asks me why I don’t just give Birdman a chance. My honest and usual response is, “Because I’ve been drunk and horny around him plenty of times and STILL don’t want to shove my tongue down his throat”. But an even more telltale sign it would never happen is the fact that I’ve also spent plenty of time around him laughing and talking sober, and still don’t see him in that way.
I love Birdman. We can talk for hours or sit in absolute silence while he works and I write. We make each other laugh, and he’s just as nerdy as I am. I’m lying. He’s way nerdier, but it’s endearing. He’s handsome, and funny. He’s smart, has his shit together and is an amazing friend. Unfortunately, I’ve been around him long enough to know that I will never look at him as anything more than just a friend. Trust me. I would love to fall in love with Birdman. My life would be easier and less lonely. Not to mention my life would be set.
Alas, we don’t choose who we have feelings for. Come on, you know this. Otherwise, I would’ve stopped feeling for Wolfy months ago or never gained feelings for him to begin with. Fuck the ability to fly or be invincible, I want to be able to control … feelings. Now that’s a superpower unlike no other. Until then, please stop trying to force off the last F of my male BFF. Better for him to be my BFF than just an X.