i don’t care if we take it slow, i just need to know we’re headed in the same direction.

“Sometimes I think I’m from another world
When I’m tryna tell a woman just exactly where I stand that
I want a girl, when I want a girl
And when I don’t want a girl
I want a girl who understands that

~Phonte, Slow It Down

I’ve had Little Brother’s “Slow It Down” on repeat all day today, because … well … we’ve already established that I’m an emotional cutter. Sometimes, when it would get to the last sentence of Phonte’s verse, I’d bring it back to the beginning and listen to it once more. It’s not that I don’t understand it. Trust. I fucking understand. Lucky for the men I date, more than most. But it doesn’t make it hurt any less.

One of my biggest flaws is that I never think I’m good enough. I’m almost sure this is bullshit, but I can’t help but feel that way. Originally, I thought it was right girl > right time. Then, I was so convinced it was right time > right girl. Now? Now I don’t know what to think anymore. A good friend of mine never gave the time to anyone until the right girl came along. 

“I was open to a relationship, I never completely cut myself off” he said. “But I know some dudes that are just like, “Fuck that” if they got issues”. I don’t care if you have more issues than Vogue, I’m not buying them. It is me. Isn’t it? 

I emailed Phonte’s verse to that same friend. We always share music related stuff to each other. He responded with even more Phonte:

“How you go’n expect that man not to be who he is?
I ain’t sayin that it’s right, but we often pay the price
Cause a woman’s life is love, a man’s love is life
And he gon live it to the fullest”

~Phonte, Don’t Go Breakin My Heart

Ouch. 

But even he couldn’t deny that his life was so much better with love in it.

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