trEAT Yo’Self.

Men, if you’re going to go down on a woman, you best go DOWN on a woman. I’m talking basement. Australia. HELL.  As someone who’s repeatedly admitted to not being a huge fan of cunnilingus, the previous statement may shock you. However, I’m an even less fan of half-assing things. Especially things you are passionate about.

Take me and dick sucking for instance. When I suck a dick, I suck a motherfucking dick. I lick the head using the tip of my tongue. I massage the penis with my mouth. I whisper sweet nothings as I make out with it. I suck on the balls. I shove that baby as far down my throat as I can dammit! And I do that shit with pleasure. 

A friend once told me that sucking dick is 60% enthusiasm, 40% technique. I’m not saying I do a good job, but I’d like to think that my brain definitely deserves to wear the Miss Congeniality crown. Men, all I/we ask is for some reciprocity.

Savor that shit as if you were going to jail afterwards. Like it’s your last home cooked meal. Eat it like a man. DO make us grab your head. DO make our toes curl. DO make our eyes roll to the back of our heads in the process. DO let us how good we taste. DO tell us how you can’t wait to fuck us afterwards. DO be passionate. Don’t be scared. Don’t beat around the bush. And for the love of God, don’t be a fucking pussy.

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