Sometimes blogging is effortless. On a really good day, I could finish an entire post beginning to end without so much as a backspace or social media break. Other times, I’m searching the nooks and crannies of my brain, and retyping the same sentence for 20 minutes. It’s during these tasking times, that I really have to get my motherfucking Zen on. Drink coffee/tea. Meditate. Stare at pretty shit, like the sky or the sunset. Listen to waves crashing. Basically, whatever Elizabeth Gilbert might do when she has writer’s block. This morning was one of those mornings that I had to really dig into the depths of my soul and prep myself, so that I could efficiently and concisely write about the very serious and important subject of DP.
As in double penetration.
It’s a topic that’s been racking my brain for quite sometime now. However, I knew I’d have to proceed with caution. Let me start off by saying that in no way do I want to partake in DP. Not even in my sick and twisted fantasies have I ever gotten off to the image of me getting stuffed in both ends like a Turducken. Yet, when I watch DP on Lubetube, I’m oddly fascinated by it. That’s my shameful way of saying it turns me on a little. Only a little though, because the sight of a man’s balls slapping against the underside of another man’s balls turns me back off.
Females that can endure DP with a smile on their face are like the Katniss’s of porn. I want to buy these bitches a drink, or a doughnut cushion at least. Because there is no way. Just. NO. I know I’ve gained a few pounds, but I’m still a tiny thing. If I had two dicks at the same time, I’m pretty sure they’d end up in a head on collision somewhere by my kidneys.
And let’s me real here. At this rate of abstinence, I’m lucky to have one dick inside of me.