Boring-Ball – TBT 07.29.11

I don’t know why but I always prided myself in being a man’s woman. I guess as females we always like to think we’re different … just like every other girl. And just like every girl that’s one of the boys, I like to sit on the couch in my boxers watching ESPN in HD with a cold brewski in hand. Fuck yeah you can make me a sandwich, and don’t you even dare talk to me if it’s the bottom of the ninth, we’re up by one, and Wilson is on the mound. DON’T. EVEN. BREATHE.

But one crucial thing that separates me from the boys (asides from the fact that I like cock but don’t have one) is that I just can’t seem to get into football *dun dun dun*. I know, what kind of fucking guys girl am I? I’ve tried to get into it, but I just can’t! I can’t even pretend to like it. Which is a shame because my mom is one of the biggest football fans I know. Unfortunately, her football aficionado genes never rubbed off on me. Fortunately, her age-defying genes did. I’ll take it.

What I can’t take is sitting through an entire football game on television. It’s slow, boring until someone makes a good play, and I have absolutely no patience for it. Says the girl who likes to sit around and watch a bunch of pudgy people swing at balls and trot around bases all day. I just can’t take the stop-go-stop-go aspect of football, it’s one of the biggest cock teases ever. Football highlights? Fasho. Superbowl halftime shows and commercials? Awesome. Lingerie and Puppybowl? Awesome-er. Touchdown dances? Awesome-est. Everything else though? I’ll probably regret saying this later, but I rather be in the kitchen making guacamole dip.

However, I am totally down to attend a live football game at The Stick. Almost every sport is better in person. The food, the fans, the park, the atmosphere in general counts for at least 50% of the experience. I’ve yet to go to an NFL game in the flesh but will definitely do so once the season starts as tailgating is on my bucket list.

Until then, I’ll continue to be a typical girly-girl when it comes to football and just comment on how hot the quarterbacks arms are when he makes a hole in one. Just kidding, sheesh.

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3 Responses to Boring-Ball – TBT 07.29.11

  1. Michelle says:

    Abi, I feel you! Football has been the one sport I just CAN.NOT get into. My entire family are football fanatics & I blame it on them for hogging the TV during football season when I was younger, till now I fight with my mom on Sundays over who gets to watch tv in the living room. Football has good eye candy tho! Holla

  2. ReptarParker says:

    That girl on the couch is hot. Someone tell me who she is.

  3. Yesi Jukebox says:

    I don’t like football either. I’m much more a fan of baseball even though I don’t watch it often but I have had plenty of people ask how I could possibly like baseball and not football. And it turns out a lot of the guys I like have been into football..but it’s sooooo boring to me. I even went to a football game years ago and spent the whole time on my sister’s sidekick – this was back in the days when that phone was cool lol.

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