I’ve been having a hard time dealing with Gail leaving. So much that I backspaced and re-typed that last sentence at least 10 times. I wouldn’t say that I cry easily, but I am definitely the biggest cryer out of my group of friends. I’m emotional when it comes to certain things, and that’s why me and Gail called each other emo sisters. But when I see her, I watch Storage Wars. I tsissmiss, and show her penis pics like the good, old days. Except I know those days are running out.
For someone with a knack for words, I’ve been pretty speechless the past few weeks. I just can’t seem to take the words in my head, and put them onto paper or my computer screen. The thing about the right words at the right time is, they provoke action.
As a writer, I know that words have power. And once you write them, they have the potential to become more than letters on a page. I suppose I thought that if I didn’t acknowledge it, “it” would go away. I thought that if I said it out loud, “it” would make things real.
I expressed my frustrations to my girl Nikko and she said, “It is real”. And just like that, it was.
The last thing I wanted to do is let my fear of life without her get in the way of saying all the words I do want to say to her while she’s still here. It’s just that there aren’t enough words to let her know how much I care.