Shit Bitches Love Pt III.

Remember Shit Bitches Love Pt I? What about Pt II? Well, it’s been 11 months and we love even more shit now.

Colin Kaepernick. Holy fuck do bitches love them some Kaepernick. Dude was a Niner since 2011(?), but struck gold with the ladies last November when he started for Alex Smith and bitches actually knew he existed. Since then, #bitchesbelike #foreverfaithful to the dick. Got females spending tuition money they don’t have and shit just to fly across the country to (not even) see him smh.  #bitcheslovekaeperDick

kaep2_crop_exact

Twerkin. I always find it interesting when something that’s been around for years, suddenly becomes popular. It reminds me of Malcolm Galdwell’s book The Tipping Point, where he refers to it as ” “the moment of critical mass, the threshold, the boiling point”. No phenomena best exhibits this theory more than the epidemic known as twerkin. What used to only be performed by strippers and seen on BET Uncut, is now emulated by ex Disney Stars and seen on YouTube. I blame Diplo for this. Because of him, no Walmart is safe from bitches expressing themselves #bitcheslovetotwerk

Yoga. For a hot one (ba-dump-bump) Bikram was all the rage. Now, if it looks uncomfortable – bitches want to do it and everyone is all of a sudden an Instagram yogi. I follow a few yoga accounts myself, because I think that looking at extremely flexible females will somehow enable me to do the splits while balancing on my pinky. I fully respect and admire those who have genuinely embraced the yoga lifestyle, but ladies be easy. Some of us can actually tell the difference between someone sayanasana-ing in yoga pants, and a flexible ho in pom-pom shorts setting up thirst traps. #bitchesloveflexibility #dudeslovesbitchesthatareflexible

One of my favorite yogis. She HAS to be a superhero.

One of my favorite yogis. She HAS to be a superhero.

Juicing. A few years ago, I tried juicing after seeing a friend of mine document her results. Although I actually liked the way the juice tasted, clean up was a bitch and I got bored with it after two days. The latest craze are store bought juices, and the new juiceries popping up  left and right (in “select neighborhoods”) can attest to this. All I know is if I’m spending $200+ on six bottles of juice, you damn right I’m going to stick to the motherfucking program. #bitcheslovejuicing #koolaidisjuiceright

Vine. I don’t care if Instagram video did kill Vine, I’m referring to short video clips in general and you can’t deny that Vine was a pioneer in this game (or was it Keek?). At any rate, all of these mobile programs can be exceptionally entertaining and even endearing when utilized correctly. Unfortunately, a lot of folks shouldn’t even have Instagram. Now, we just get to see y’all be boring in video form. You know what 15 seconds worth of the same frame of your face is called? A PICTURE. #bitcheshellalovevine

Vapes. Back in my day (show your age now), we used to call these “trippy sticks” and e-cigs could be found in kiosks at the mall. Now, they have stores solely for vape pens and come in every color way and print to match any outfit. They’re an import model/video girls favorite accessory! #badbitcheslovevapes

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One Response to Shit Bitches Love Pt III.

  1. Pingback: Shit Bitches Love Pt IV | Dear Abi | girlsarethenewboys.com

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