I just listened to a friends cover of Bruno Mars’ Talking to the Moon and am now typing with blurred vision due to tearing up from it. Despite her very public breakup with her boyfriend, you didn’t need to be her friend on Facebook or Twitter to know she was going through some tough times. The pain in her voice told a story no status update or blog post could tell. And although it’s been a while since I felt a pain similar to hers, I cried.
I cried for her, and every single woman and man in my life that has gotten their heart broken. I cried for every email and comment I’ve read asking how to get over someone that’s gotten over them. And I cried for my past loves lost.
For I too, have had many conversations with the moon.
I’d ask it why I keep getting fucked over. Why bad things keep happening to good people. What I could’ve possible done so wrong to deserve this. Why karma was so biased. I’d ask to (please) never fall in love again. To feel numb. If it was my fault. If I was being tested. When I was going to find someone that loved me as much as I loved them. If he still thought of me. If he ever cared. These conversations happened even in broad daylight and usually lasted ’til the sun rose the next day.
The very first time I had my heart broken I vowed to never, ever love again. I told myself, and my friends, and God, and yes, the moon that if I ever met a man who had even the slightest potential I would about face and never look back. Since then, I’ve fell in love twice more.
Don’t ever try to fight love. You will lose. The harder you try to resist? The harder the beat down will be. And now I know that no matter how bad I get hurt, I will always risk the fall just to know how it feels to fly. Goddammit love, you win again!
I still talk to the moon. Everyday, and every night. Except our conversations are a little different, yours will be too. After the bitter, comes the better. I wish there was a less painful way to learn all these lessons, but I really don’t think there is one. I’ll probably meet someone new, and knowing my luck get hurt again. And if I don’t, then I’ll truly know all the wrong ones came into my life to lead me to the right one.
If you’re still going through “it,” then you probably don’t believe me. You probably also think I’m an asshole. I don’t blame you. Just remember this post when you are feeling better, and the next time you talk to the moon, tell it I said hello. You may not always get the response you want from it, but just know there a thousands of other people asking it the same questions.