Fuck What You Heard.

I never really noticed the way men sounded during sex until I fucked this one guy that made a funny noise whenever he would cum. It was a combination of a panting sound and a hiccup, and I wanted to laugh every single time he did it. Ever since then, I became more keen on paying attention to noises in the bedroom that weren’t coming out of my own mouth, and it got me wondering if women like men who are loud in bed just as much as men like women who are.

My absolute favorite porn featuring the Porn Twin was one for a “hardcore” series where he played a disgruntled customer. The receptionist at his insurance company was a bitch on the phone, so he ended up visiting the office to file a complaint only to stick his dick in the receptionist’s mouth instead. What I remember most about this specific porn was the fact that it was the Porn Twin’s biggest speaking role yet. Not only did he talk dirty to his leading lady, but it was also the loudest I ever heard him cum. I must’ve replayed just the last few seconds of the clip at least five times because it turned me on so much.

Obviously, I’d like my man to make some sort of noises during sex. Otherwise, I’d feel like I was fucking a mute. I want to know that he’s into it, and enjoying himself. You already know I’m a fan of dirty talk, so I like a man who isn’t afraid to talk back. However, I still believe that a good 60% of the conversation should consist of the woman talking. I mean, that’s how it usually is anyway right? I love a sexy, low growl when my man is having an orgasm. But I’m afraid anything else would remind me of the scene in MacGruber below (:40 second mark).

Needless to say, I rather have the guy I’m fucking call me names, than have the neighbors know my name.

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