The first week after a break up, I am just like Rafael Casal – I’M CLEANING. My name is Maria-Guadalupe Roasario-LaCorazon and I am finding therapy in Pine Sol, and solace in Glade Plug-Ins.
I’m scrubbing tiles, and vacuuming carpets. Dusting bookshelves, and folding clothes. But most of all, I am attempting to get rid of YOU. Your smell, your taste, your touch, and your voice in every nook and cranny of my brain. And in every single crack of my heart.
It’s so hard when I’m sorting laundry and I find my red shirt I wore one of the last times we went out. I’m looking for cranberry-vodka stains, or a tear on the sleeve. You know, make-believe evidence of a make-believe fight I wish we had that night. But all I can find is your hands around my waist, and mouth against my neck. Because we spent that night doing what we normally do. What we did best – have fun.
The first week after a break up I am on a hundred, thousand, trillion. I am C3PO, I am R2D2, I am the T-1000, I am Johnny-motherfucking-5. Life is a buffet and I am trying to keep my plate as full as possible.
Scheduling meetings, and dinners, and brunches. Celebrating birthdays, and Giants games, and random Tuesdays. Having a girls night out, and breaking necks at the club. Running the beach, and begging the gym to just let me sleep over. But most of all, I am trying to exhaust myself so that I have no time or energy to think about YOU.
It’s damn near impossible, because a pitcher of Dos Equis at Underdogs was OUR “thing”. All my girls are texting their boos during dinner. The guy that wants to buy me a drink keeps touching my hair and smells like Patron. My thighs and ass are so sore from lunges I can barely walk. And when all is said and done, and I’m laying in bed at home alone at night. The very split second I have a little free time, I spend it thinking about YOU.
Because after realizing it’s finally over. After my heart jumping out of my chest because I received yet another text that wasn’t from you. “Because seven days without love makes one weak”. Because on the last day of the first week after a break up – I simply break down.