I’ve been meaning to write about the difference between the way men and women interpret “time” in regards to relationships, but never quite got to it. After reading Jozen’s post today I think it’s about time.
As he mentions, a common assumption is that the time we spend with someone is equivalent to how much we care about them. Although it’s more than just an assumption to me, I also know there are exceptions. But what I took away from the post was Jozen’s acknowledgment of the difference between “making,” and creating time for someone. Stating, “Making time for someone is fitting them in our schedules,” while “Creating time is about taking care of the things we’re obligated to take care of so we can spend time doing what we want most.” While I never considered it before, I more than get it. A man I used to see made time to fuck me after work and before he woke up the next day, but he created time for dinner dates and weekend getaways with someone else.
This leads me to the conclusion that men create time for people and things they feel are a priority to them, while they make time for the optional. Regardless of whether you’re making or creating time, I believe women are more prone to doing either one. A popular excuse why men reject commitment is because they say they don’t have enough time for a relationship. Women on the other hand live by the phrase, “Where there’s a will, there’s a way.” If I care enough about someone, I still rather see them for only the seven minutes when he shaves in the morning than not see him at all.
And that’s the big difference between men and women. Men act as if there’s no fair way a relationship and fulfilling life can coexist. As if having a girlfriend will somehow get them fired, disowned by their family and friends, kill puppies, and increase global warming. Whereas women will take the hands of time and slap its wrist with handcuffs for our relationship. We will make the appropriate sacrifices to make sure we get that promotion at work, are at happy hour with the girls to celebrate it, and then home drunk in time to spoon and fork with our man. It may not always work, but we will definitely put in the effort and try.
Whether this means women are stronger individuals built to juggle anything thrown at us, or that men have more focus and dedication – I’m not sure. Or does this just mean women are more willing to make sacrifices than men are? And if all that is true, does that mean a man with a girlfriend and job would be more successful without her? Who knows. I just know that the last time is the last time I waste time on someone who doesn’t even deserve the time of day.