Me and my first love were like the Filipino Beyonce and Jay-Z of yesteryears amongst our peers. The kind of couple where one would walk into a room, people would look and wonder, then the other half would walk in and people would nod and think, “Ahhh OK.” We looked good together – we were good together. Similar steez, similar interests, and similar beliefs in life. We were best friends. And we had a love that our single friends aspired to have one day.
Since then, he got married and I am slowly, but surely finding that amazing, unconditional, irrevocable love once again … within myself. However, I am blessed to know a few couples whose relationship could sell out more shows in Madison Square Garden than a Hov and Bey concert combined. A few couples whose love – is better than love. I look at them, and know that even in the heartless world we live in today, one can still hope. One can still love. And one can still be loved.
It’s sad to think that happy, healthy relationships like these are far and between. But it would be an absolute travesty to let it discourage you from getting the love you believe you deserve. People no longer strive to be happy, they simply settle with being the least unhappy. They think it could always be worse, but fail to remember that it can always be better.
When I think about the relationships I’ve beared witness to over the past few years, I’m relieved to realize I know a lot more healthy ones than dysfunctional ones. Unfortunately, the unhealthy ones are the ones that stick out the most. Even more unfortunate that a chunk of them were my own relationships. But I refuse to believe that an unhealthy relationship is now the “norm.”
Someone commented on a previous post of mine saying that if what I have been doing hasn’t been giving me the results I want, that maybe I should change. I agree with him 100%. However, there are certain things I won’t ever compromise. Sure, I could not be so candid on my blog and stop hanging out with my guy friends. OR I could find a man who is secure enough to support my dreams and appreciates my friendships.
Far too often do I see women catering to men that don’t even acknowledge they are together, and men sacrificing their happiness for women who make their life miserable. Fuck that. I could do bad all by myself.
I used to want the kind of relationship that made people want to be in love. Now I realize that although there are good intentions behind that thought, it’s a selfish and boastful thing to say. Now? I just hope I’m never half of that dynamic duo that make people want to be single forever.