The other day I saw a friend of mine bend for a man who wouldn’t even budge for her and it made me wonder, can one ever be truly themselves in front of their significant other?
From countless of testimonies and wedding vows I’m lead to believe that it should be mandatory in any healthy, happy relationship. But really – think hard. Think about the way you act with your best friends. Asides from the obvious and disrespectful like fucking the slut at the bar, or giving your number to the hot bartender, can you behave the same way in front of your boyfriend? Can you say the same things in front of your girlfriend?
I’m not referring to the petty things like farting or burping either. And I could care less about how you can’t sing at the top of your lungs while you clean the house when your man is over. I’m talking about the characteristics your mom pointed out ever since you were four. The quirks your best friends notice that are annoying and endearing at the same time. The brash, the emotional, the raunchy, the sensitive. The very things that make you – YOU.
I was once in a relationship where walking on eggshells became part of my everyday routine. I ended up getting punished for being everything that he fell in love with. I couldn’t joke around. I couldn’t be friendly with anyone that had a penis. I COULDN’T BREATHE. I wasn’t ME. I was the “me” that was too tired to be the real me, because I didn’t want to fight anymore. It was pathetic. Thankfully, the defiant and stubborn me broke up with him.
But perhaps the stubborn and defiant “me” is the reason why I’m still single. Me and my friend agreed that there are certain things worth compromising for the person you love. However, all I see are people compromising themselves for people who aren’t worth it. Like, WHO ARE YOU RIGHT NOW?
I guess I just always thought that the person you’re with should accept the person you are: your past and your present, flaws and all. But I guess that’s just “me”.