Goldmember.

Watching the Olympics is like watching porn. All these athletic ass bodies flexing, and writhing around and shit – HI. I finally get what all the hype’s about. And to think I used to watch it for its athletic merit. Silly me. At any rate, today’s post is dedicated to the sexy olympians of 2012. You make me, and your country proud.

Ryan Bailey of the USA. Sure he got a lil’ DeBarge look going on with the plucked eyebrows and all, but he can still get it. And once you see him and his spandex in action, you’ll give it to him too.

Click after the jump to see who else wins the gold (wrapper we hope) for me!

Marcel Nguyen of Germany. Well shit, look at him. Exotic features – check. Tatted chest – check. Exquisitve upper body – check. What’s not to like? I’d pommel his horse anytime.

Oscar Pistorius of South Africa. Known as the “Blade runner,” and “the fastest man with no legs,” Pistorius is a double amputee running in this years Olympics. Fuck me if what I’m about to say is wrong, but who cares what’s on his feet with a face like that and hot ass accent? Besides, we all know what counts the most below his waist.

Wallace Spearmon of the USA. Are you serious? Look at his eyes. Don’t play. Just don’t. Wish the sprinter would run into my bedroom right now.

Michael Phelps. OK, OK. I know he looks like an ogre most of the time, but not enough to make me overlook the fact that his body is IMPECCABLE. Like, seriously. I just spent a good amount of the night oogling over him. I may have even popped a baby boner watching him win the 200 meter individual medley. If only he would just keep get Invisalign, and keep the scruff. He can stroke my breast anytime.

Who’s your favorite olympian? Sorry fellas, you know I usually got you, but I just haven’t been paying that much to the females asides from the Fab 5.

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3 Responses to Goldmember.

  1. krisYEE says:

    YES to the first three.

  2. Jerry says:

    This my fave olympian

  3. Ricardo says:

    Allyson felix and Hope Solo all day everyday

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