To me, talking dirty consists of reading the Thanh Long menu starting with the appetizers, then slowly making your way to the desserts in a deep, raspy voice. But as if you didn’t already know, I am a huge fan of
dirty talk – done the right way of course.
As far as what the “right”way is? It’s entirely up to the individual. Everyone likes different things, and what may be too much for some might not be enough for others. However, I’ve found three foolproof lines in the bedroom that always leave both parties st-st-stuttering afterwards. Starting with …
“God, you fuck me so good.” Biting on your lower lip, with both hands fondling your own breasts is a nice accompanyment to this. Men often complain that compliments are a one-way street – not in my alley. I give credit where credit’s due, so if you’re tappin that ass correctly I’ll be sure to let you know, so that you keep doing it. Everyone could use a naked cheerleader every now and then.
“Mmm, fuck that p*ssy.” This line is best delivered when you’re folded in half like a lawn chair with one hand behind your mans neck, so that your faces are close to each other, and you’re almost whispering it into his ear. Again, some instructional words of encouragement. Think of it as a gold star sticker. Except this kind makes you have an orgasm.
“I want you to fuck me ’til you cum.” Best served with you looking over your shoulder at your man while he’s hitting it from the back. Rawr. I have the cheesiest grin on my face as I sit here typing this lol. I like to think of this line as a nice, little finishing move for when you’ve already cum and you want to make sure your man does the same. This might be one of the few times a man likes their woman telling them what to do. Either way, you gotta respect a woman that knows what she wants. Especially when what she wants is YOU.
Upon finishing this list, I realized two things: One, I apparently like the word “fuck,” and two, there are two more short – but oh, so sweet sayings that deserve to at least be runner-ups. However, I’ll save it for my “Things NOT to say in the bedroom,” post. In the mean time, let me know what lines in the bedroom (whether you’re saying them or receiving them) leave you speechless afterwards.