All Cried Out – HumpDay Post

Remember that one guy I used to write about who would fuck me so long and so hard I would go into anabolic shock? Well, he used to also get me as dry as the Mojave. It sounds crazy, but that’s what happens when you’ve cum the life out of you. I’m not too fond of a man spitting on my hoo-haw (hey it doesn’t spit on you either), so the obvious solution was lube. Another possibility would’ve been to of course just stop fucking for five fucking minutes, so I could rehydrate but I mean …

… …. …

Yeah right lol.

So there I was in the “Fuck, I hope my mom doesn’t see me” section of Walgreens checking out what life had to offer when my ex-boyfriends aunt walks in instead. I quickly move to the right of the lube and condoms as she says “hi” only to realize I was then standing in front of the pregnancy tests. AWESOME. Anyway, I decide to try KY’s Touch Massage that doubles as massage oil, as well as cools and warms to touch. Cool, I fucks with massages.

When the time comes we’re just both really curious to see if it actually warms up as advertised. I put a little in my hand, and he tells me to put some on his dick. But after maybe 20 seconds of nothing (have I ever told you I have NO patience … and I hate waitin … n*gga get your ass in here and let’s ri-i-i-i-i-ide) I’m over it and give him head instead. And for the first time in dick sucking history I’m disgusted. Because the lube tastes like … like … I dunno, like I don’t want to suck dick anymore lol. He wants to taste it (God bless his empathy), so I let him lick the tip of my finger. He immediately gets up to wash his dick, and we proceed to hubba-hubba sans the KY.

You would think they’d make some more fellatio friendly lube, and they actually do. But it’s safe to say I won’t be using it again anytime soon. I was never too fond of it, plus he was the only man that fucked me inside out like that (not at all to say I haven’t had good sex with anyone else. definitely not the case). But at least I now know my vagina can take a beating without crying.

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3 Responses to All Cried Out – HumpDay Post

  1. Anonymous says:

    This was a problem with my ex and I as well (and she got wetter, and stayed wetter than Niagara) – same exact scenario (I think we canceled each other out to be honest – too much from both). So we came to the conclusion that lube would help. I cannot recall the brand (I actually still have it so I will check). The results were ok (you could tell it was artificial). It worked well, but we would be at it for so long that it would have to be reapplied numerous times. The taste, she claimed, was terrible as well (so now I am really wondering what brand it was). And yes, I did taste it on her behalf, and I have no idea how they claimed it could be used orally – horrible. Bottom line is, we used it for a very short amount of time. I found far better use for it by my lonesome. No joke, if any guys are reading this, use it, when you are alone. I cannot go into too many details – just know that I normally never (EVER) need lube. But, when “added” it was extraordinary. It warmed and was – let me stop. Ha ha ha! I used it until it I saw that it had expired. The cleanup is absolutely terrible, but the feeling is great (again, when used alone).

  2. Anonymous says:

    So ok, the bottle says “K-Y touch massage 2-in-1 WARMING body massage + personal lubricant UNSCENTED” – unscented it is not. Same lube lol!

  3. Meli says:

    Astroglide lube! Saw the name and had to try it! Haha. Lasts pretty long. I’d say applied twice within 45min, just a small amount. The taste is manageable.

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