Obviously she just came back from vacationing in the Bay when she made this video.
P.S. I ain’t never seen women so covered up look SO RIDICULOUSLY SEXY i.e. :33
My Chain Hits My Chest When I’m Bangin On The Dashboard
Posted in Media, Music
Tagged bad girls, m.i.a., mia, music monday, music mondaze, official video
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TGIF!
Hope everyone has an amazing weekend! For those of you free tonight, come through to The Brooklyn Circus on Fillmore for a night of “Boots and Bourbon”.
Posted in Misc.
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What’s Inside My Whore Kit?
A while ago I wrote this post about the infamous “Whore Kit,” which I’ve recently learned can also aptly be called a “Shag Bag” (thanks mom *smh*). Soon after, it became an inside joke amongst me and my girlfriends and Ren ended up buying all of us one, God bless her. Most of the stuff ran out, but I kept the concept alive. While cleaning my room, I came across it and decided to share it with you ala “What’s In Your Bag?” but on ecstasy. Happy to say I got a lot of mileage on this baby (all with the SAME guy mind you). Sad to say, all I use it for now are those unexpected sleepovers at my girls house.
Posted in Life
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Rather be Your N.I.G.G.A. – Throwback Thursday Post 02.22.11
Disclaimer: Yes, I will be using the N-word here. However, it’s verbatim and was necessary for this specific post. Please don’t take offense. If you get offended that easily, you shouldn’t be on my blog to begin with.
I was never into pet names, at least not the generic ones. “Babe” is the Antichrist to me, and I think the only time I’ve ever responded to, or called someone “baby,” was during sex, drunk, or during sex drunk. Any pet name I’ve ever given stemmed from an inside thing, and no, I’ve never used the same one twice and I hope you haven’t either. That shits just tacky, come on now.
I’ve been called a few names by the men I’ve dated (insert crude joke here). Some were cute (Topanga), some made me cringe (Lil’ Mama), and some made me think, “What the fuck?!” (nigga, dawg, blood). Again, WHAT THE FUCK? Granted, this was coming from someone who felt comfortable enough telling me about his father that passed away on the first date. The same person I spent countless hours talking baseball to during bar chants in between sloppy beer kisses. And the same guy that would constantly praise me for being so chill, like “one of the boys.” But I’m sorry, if your penis has ever been inside of me – I AM NOT YOUR NIGGA.
Posted in 2 Whom it May Concern, Love & Relationships
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The Good, The Bad, and The Lonely
Sometimes I feel like single women can never catch a break. If you miss being in a relationship, you’re pathetic. And if you’re happy being single, then surely you’re lying.
I write this on a Tuesday night, from underneath my wine colored comforter with an oversized mug of Theraflu keeping me warm. My laptop has become my boyfriend, and The Hunger Games my fuck buddy. Would I rather have a handsome face and athletic body by my side? Would it be much more satisfying being turned over and hit from the back, instead of turning pages? I said “Hell yeah, hell yeah, fuck yeah.” But am I dying because I’m alone? Not even a little bit. At least not tonight. Because tonight, I still feel a little sick, my room is messy, I haven’t shaved my legs in three days, I don’t want to share any of the chicken-shirataki noodle dish I made for dinner, and I really just want to blog and finish my fucking book!
I know first hand how good some people (single or not) can be at pretending like life is a World Series parade when it’s more reminiscent of a funeral procession. They mask their pain in five-inch heels and bottle service, “check-in” at every concert, and go on dinner dates with men they wish were someone else. Except. Sometimes? Sometimes they just wanna break in their new stilettos, bottle service is free, they love live shows, and simply like making new friends.
Because sometimes life IS just that good. Sometimes shit is just so awesome you gotta announce it in a Tweet. Sometimes your friends are just so fucking beautiful you gotta snap a picture with them, arms intertwined, and smiling because you have every reason to be. Sometimes you don’t have to fake it.
So even if between all the Sunday Fundays, there are days where you just want stay home and cry. So even if amidst tanning in the tropics, the rain still makes you sad - SO WHAT? Because as bad as the bad times were, there were so many more good times. Being lonely isn’t always about being miserable. It shows one’s capacity to love, and willingness to be loved.
So forget people who are so discontent with their lives that they go out of their way to make others feel as if they can’t live theirs. As if they can’t blatantly be happy. Or like it’s wrong to want love. Like they don’t deserve it. I’m not sure what’s worse – boasting about being happy when you’re not or downplaying your joy for the sake of others.
So let them be lonely. Chances are, if they’re happy you won’t believe them anyway.
Posted in Love & Relationships
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Eargasms
I had the pleasure of watching Immortal a few weeks ago (best. date. EVER.), so I got to witness the sexiness known as Tina Guo in person. Typically, she’s not my type but her entire set was so erotic and obviously phallic, that I couldn’t help but pop a boner watching. Listen to the first 30 seconds of this video. It’s totally the last time I had sex in music form.
Posted in Media, Sex
Tagged cellist, cello, michael jackson immortal tour, tina guo, tina guo queen bee
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Gets Me Everytime
Let’s face it, not every woman has the libido of an ex-con. Some are content having it once a week, some once a month. Yet some women are even fine with having sex merely for procreation, blasphemy! But for those who have ladies that may just be tired from work, or just super indulged in a new book, the following are a few tips that should get them gulping down a Redbull or forgetting how to read in no time.
1) Knocking on the rear door. No matter how sleepy I am, once I feel something poke my ass from behind it’s going dowwwwwn – Fellatio. A man pressing his boner on my ass cheeks is a surefire way to transition from innocent spooning to rambunctious forking. I really, really hate how effective this move is too. It’s pretty much foolproof.
2) Masturbation. If the first move doesn’t work (which it rarely doesn’t), it followed by this should do. I don’t need you to do a full on show for me, just a few strokes will do. I’ll watch in awe for a few seconds, but after a few more seconds I’m pouncing on you. A man I used to date would do this and I would want to slap his ass because of it. Instead, I’d end up letting him slap my ass.
Posted in Sex
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