If you’ve ever read a post of mine, if I’ve ever made you laugh or cry or raise one hand in the air and utter a “‘Chuch!”, if you’re happily in love, if you’re single and loving it, if my hump day post make you horny, IF YOU ADORE YOUR FRIENDS, please visit the link below or click on the image and vote for ENTRY #1! 

PLEASE VOTE ENTRY #1 

You can vote as many times as you want, with the last day being 2/3. This is especially awesome to me because MY FRIENDS MEAN THE WORLD TO ME as you can tell from previous posts. It’s not just for the contest, I’ve always wanted to treat them but never had the money to. While it’s a meager attempt compared to the love and support (and morning rides of shame) they’ve given me, it’s a nice way to say thank-you. So thank YOU all for voting!

When the lights go down in the city, and the sun shines on the Bay

In no particular order …

Me and my favorite, Aaliyah

Who does it better than us at tailgating? NOBODY. We had sinigang and hot toddy's for the rainy day!

Bros before Hoez

Bi-Rite can never be Wrong

Picture Inception

Facetiming with my bellisimas. And someone dying in the corner.

Was sick for a week so I started The Hunger Games, finishing the third and final book now!

Me and my hot date at Immortal

Human Nature

Happy birthday to my roomy B!

View from Coit Tower

And then I realized that I didn’t like half the shit I listened to. But more than that, I didn’t like half the people who listened to it. These were the people that thought Mos Def would be a “sell out” if he wore an expensive watch, mind you this was long before his movie career. The same people who would rather have sickle cell anemia than listen to the radio. The same people all for the struggle that have never had a job and drive home from school in the Mercedes their parents bought them. The same people who would raise their fist in the air to the conscious sounds of Dead Prez, then fuck someone that wasn’t their girlfriend or have a one night stand with someone else’s man.

While I did enjoy a good amount of the music, I was swaying to the rhythm amongst a crowd of walking contradictions, music snobs, and hip-hoprocites that were the very essence of what they hated only on the flip side. When really, I didn’t mind the radio (except for commercials and techno), and I loved shaking my vivrant thang to Vivrant Thang.

Nowadays, people are quick to be down for a cause just because. So quick to write a righteous FaceBook status or Tweet in hopes that their peers will “like” or “rt” it, because that’s what they expect them to say. And while all the support is needed and appreciated, when you really don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about, it’s almost counterproductive. Now that the Occupy movement isn’t on the front page everyday or headlining the 5 o’clock news, I wonder what their bandwagon supporters are doing. Surely, they’re using this time to secretly convene and think of the next plan of action right? More than likely they’re at some coffee shop drinking over-priced lattes with their laptop blogging about how how heartbroken they are, or getting shitface at some elusive new hotspot that they’ll be too cool for the next day.

I don’t voice my opinion about a lot of issues not because I’m ignorant, it’s just not my forte. And when it comes to subjects as emotionally charged as politics or religion, I carefully and humbly choose my battles. But just because someone doesn’t have it plastered on their foreheads, it doesn’t mean we are not taking action. Be proud of the things you stand for. Shit, go ahead and be boastful if you feel your cause deserves it. I ain’t mad, I think it’s admirable. But educate yourselves first. RESEARCH, RESEARCH, RESEARCH. And NOT just on Facebook for fucking God. Know all sides of a proposition before you vote to pass it, know what that whistle hanging on your neck means, know WHAT THE FUCK EXACTLY YOU’RE OCCUPYING.

Then, if you still feel that passionate about it by all means support. Gloat. Boast. Network. Reblog. etc. etc. etc. I still support social activism, I still wear Earth tones, I still like spoken word, and I love almost all music. I just make sure to support shit for the right reasons now. Because I learned at a very young age that if you don’t stand up for something, you’ll fall for anything. But I also learned that if you fall for anything, you’ll fall for anything.

Some men think telling the truth is overrated, but it actually gives you a license to be a complete jack-ass. When a man is honest with a woman from the jump by saying, “I don’t want to be in a relationship,” he relinquishes any commitment or responsibility she was hoping to potentially have with him. If she decides to stay around in hopes that he will in turn come around, but gets hurt in the process – that’s technically her fault not his.

It doesn’t matter if he takes you to dinner like his girlfriend, kisses you at the club like his girlfriend, holds your hand down the street like his girlfriend, fucks you like his girlfriend, or treats you like his girlfriend. Because despite the fact that you might as well be his girlfriend – you’re not. It doesn’t matter if he takes you out like a boyfriend, gets jealous when you talk to other guys like a boyfriend, worries about you like a boyfriend, or carries you to the car when your feet hurt like a boyfriend. Because despite the fact that he might as well be your boyfriend – he’s not.

I know the two of you fight like you’re in a relationship, spend time and money like you’re in a relationship, go on trips like you’re in a relationship, hang out with each others friends like you’re in a relationship, so you might as well be in a relationship, but the fact of the matter is - you’re not. And this is the part that fucks us up the most. Because sooner than later (although it will already be too late) we’ll painstakingly remember the day you said, “I don’t want to be in a relationship”.  

However, telling the truth doesn’t warrant being an asshole. It doesn’t mean you should shovel the dirt you do at someone’s feet. It just means you found a way to manipulate honesty. You knew it would hurt her if she found out you went on that date. You knew what was going on when she bought you that LV wallet, because yours was falling apart and your ATM card and ID would fall out everytime you’d whip it out. You knew you were more than just good dick to her the minute you two had an argument, and she cried. And you knew how she felt about you the moment SHE TOLD YOU.

So always tell her the truth, but don’t lie yourself into thinking you had no clue what you were doing. Otherwise, you’re just an honest asshole. Technically, you’re still being honest. But technically, you’re still being an asshole. Being honest doesn’t always negate being respectful, and technically you don’t need to be someone’s boyfriend or girlfriend to respect them.

I used to have this theory that being single was only awesome if you were dating three guys at the same time. That way, you’d be so busy with your juggling act that you could never completely open up to just one person. If you ever caught even the slightest of feelings for one, at least one of the other two would distract you from it (hey, don’t judge me. I was 16 when I came up with this theory and back then it actually worked!).

We all do what we gotta do to move on.

Some people fuck the pain away. Some wallow. Some people get on that Kanye workout plan. Some run, some take up a new hobby. Some bury themselves in work. Some take a vacation, while some seek refuge in a comfy spot on the floor in the corner of their room. Some see a therapist and some see their four year-old baby nephew.

Some people turn into party animals after a failed relationship. I am not usually one of those people. I prefer to stay home and cry into the tub so I can drown myself in it later. Putting on makeup, pretending to be happy, and being drunk and vulnerable are the last things I want to do … but sometimes it doesn’t even have to be that serious.

Sometimes, all you really need is a night out with your girls. Sans the heels, short skirts, and extensions. Just some good times, a baseball cap, and a pitcher or two. I won’t lie, it helps if a group of cute guys wanna join your table too. But no one even needs to hook up or exchange numbers. It’s just good to know the option is still there and you still got it.

A night out won’t necessarily help you get over someone, but focusing on the fact that life does exist after love and you can have fun without “him,” or “her,” will help you move on. And the key to moving on is to keep it moving. Physically, and most importantly, mentally. Difficult? Probably. Impossible? Of course not.

Like Confucius said, “It does not matter how slowly you go, as long as you do not stop.”

Fast forward to the present, and not too much has changed. Instead of my kickball skills, it’s my intelligence, wit, talent, and topics of interest that are always chopped and screwed. It’s become predictable at this point. Unfortunately, it even makes me underestimate myself sometimes. It’s part truth, part inferiority complex. Fortunately, I’m too stubborn to let it defeat me. The stigma that stems from my party pics, vulgar language, and addiction to silliness help me weed out the crabgrass in my life, and adds fuel to the fire in my soul.

The best part about being judged inaccurately, is that you get to prove people wrong. And when people underestimate you, there’s no way to go but up. The redemption is sweeter than guava chiffon pancakes. The truth is, you don’t need to prove anything to anyone. Long as you prove it to yourself.

Fishermen. Not those who go deep sea diving, I’m talking about people who fish for compliments. Like people that post pictures with no makeup on with captions like, “OMG I’m so ugly without makeup!” BITCH GTFOH. We all know that if it was really that bad of picture a picture, you wouldn’t post it. Who does that? Not me, that’s for damn sure. And if I did but just didn’t give a flying 747, I wouldn’t draw attention to it with a caption like that. The best is when the person is still wearing makeup in the picture albeit just concealer or a little eyeliner. Ho, I know the tricks of the trade, I use them!

Mine vs. Mines: Maybe it’s the Virgo in me. Maybe it’s the Journalism major in me. Maybe it’s the writer in me. Or maybe it’s the psychotic anal bitch in me. Either way, I was taught the difference between mine and mines in KINDERGARTEN PEOPLE! It’s probably one of the only things I remember from school (so sad). But even worse than there, they’re, and their is when someone says, “That’s mines!” No motherfucker. Mines are holes in the ground.

People who don’t use their turn signal. I just don’t understand how one can complain about using something that has no negative side effects to it. I know it’s just a stupid light that blinks for a few seconds, but there is no harm done in using it. Not using it on the other hand, can mean the difference between a five car pile up on the freeway or me honking at you for the next three exits. Now I wouldn’t say I hate people that don’t signal before they turn, I just wish they’d all drive into a divider.

Bicyclist. Before all you fixie owners get your riding spanks all in a bunch, let me clarify by saying not ALL bicyclist annoy me. I happen to have quite a few lovely friends who ride bicycles. I’m only referring to the ones who think they’re the “Blade’s” of the bike lane. Those who want the best of both the pedestrian and automobile worlds. The ones who want to run with the big boys, and cause traffic on the street, yet refuse to stop at red lights, nearly run over real pedestrians on foot, and then want to be treated like a pedestrian once they get into an accident. Pick one jerk-off! Everyone else is excused.

Being late. Now. I’m a girl, so being late is almost in my blood. I’ve apologetically had people wait outside my house sometimes up to 10 minutes while I frantically tried to find my keys or apply a false eyelash, but when it comes to shit with time constraints I’ll be there 30 minutes early before ever being 10 minutes late. This especially applies to people who have no reverence for live shows, movies, or sporting events. And don’t even get me started on those who leave during halftime and chill at the bar until the middle of the fourth. Unless your uncle is Larry Bird, there should be no reason why you don’t care to not only waste your money, but disrespect the sport!

Readers, consider my blog today a venting free for all. If you have anything you’d like to add or agree with, feel free to comment below! Now don’t go fishing, don’t forget to signal, don’t be an asshole on a bicycle, remember that it’s MINE not MINES, be on time, and have a good fucking day!