In addition to having amazing readers like yourselves, I am also blessed to be surrounded by talented people that inspire me to do what I love. Some of the products in my Valentine giveaway goody-bag showcase the talents of some local artist I am grateful to know.

Leg Warmers by Bad Aby Designs: While these may not keep your legs warm, they’ll definitely make things HOT. Take it from Aby Rulloda, the multi-talented model, designer, Muay Thai champion, AND pole dancer. Matter fact, go book one of her classes at Sedusa Studios, so you can do a little trick or two in those leg warmers of yours.

Mike Plays It Cool by Mike Baker the Bike Maker: Keep things sexy with some mood music courtesy of a good friend of mine Mike Baker the Bike Maker, who you may have seen featured on MTV’s RapFix. He’s good peoples and good music, and I will have you know that he has been one of my biggest inspirations and supporters throughout my writing journey.

Earring, ring, AND voucher for customized, destroyed denim shorts by Refined.: If you saw my friend Baker’s steez you’d definitely want anything she endorses. Refined specializes in handmade accessories and reconstructed vintage clothing that will have you looking fly from head to toe. (Note: Shorts aren’t shown here because they will be custom made to fit the giveaway winner. But I saw a sample of their other shorts and if yall don’t want a pair I’LL TAKE THEM, SHIT.) While their website is under construction, you can email me with your inquiries at dearabi@girlsarethenewboys.com.

Miracle Skin Transformer by Sarah McNamara: My girl Katrina hooked the goody-bag up with this fabulous product courtesy of LVMH . “This antioxidant-rich skin enhancer leaves your skin hydrated, primed, enhanced, shine-free, and protected in one easy step.” Glowing, smooth, sexy skin – I am a fan, rawrrr.

GATNB themed nail set by A. Sade: If you didn’t know by now, my girl Ashley is an amazing artist and a BEAST with her nail designs. You don’t know how hard it was for me to not keep this set for myself lol. Taking hints from my website banner combined with her own creativity, each nail is hand painted with a “red bottom” per my tagline. Hit her up for a custom set of your own!

Prints by Ryan Michael Louie photography: I am a fan of ALL THINGS creative, and Ryan exemplifies this in his photography. Art, fashion, music, dance, and motorcycles are just a few things that pique his interest, and judging by the two beautiful prints he’s donated below – the human form is one as well. Residing in San Francisco, he’s also one of the few photographers I know that use mostly film!

MAC makeup courtesy of MUA Angela Galura: Um HI. What goody-bag is complete without MAKEUP?! Clockwise: Mineralized skinfinish in “Naked You” (LE), Studio Moisture Tint SPF 15 in medium, “Utterly Discreet” Lipglass (LE), “Naval Blue” pigment, amplified lipstick in “Impassioned”, pan eyeshadow in “Carbon” (omg my FAVE black eyeshadow btw),  ”Louder Please” eyeshadow (LE), and lip pencil in “Magenta” (another favorite of mine). P.S. LE means limited edition aka sold the fuck out. P.P.S. These are brand new full size items. P.P.S.S. Angela did my gorgeous makeup for New Years Eve as seen here, and because of it I got hit on three times and got my face sucked once. Email me at dearabi@girlsarethenewboys.com if you’d like her to do the same for you.

Last, but not least a mystery item from Adapt Clothing: Me and the man behind the shirts you’ve had to have seen EVERYWHERE at Candlestick Park this past Niner post-season, will be picking out a tee for the giveaway winner. Adapt is also opening up a shop nearby that I am so grateful for, because everytime I see Evan being his own boss, it truly motives me to be my own.

In addition to all the items above, a bunch of extras like tees, makeup/perfume samples, and a lil’ something from me to you will be included.

When I was younger I used to get really sad when I was single on Valentine’s Day (stupid I know), but then I’d get a surprise package of cookies in the mail from one of my girls, or my mom would send me flowers, or a stranger would tell me I was beautiful and I’d realize that there will always be at least ONE person that appreciates you. So let GATNB be one of the many, and good luck!

Sporting Event: Celebrate the day before or after with my favorite men until April: the Golden State Warriors. Because to me, nothing screams romance more than beer, ball, and your boo. It’s fun, not too expensive, and something both parties can enjoy. If your significant other isn’t a sports fan then you need to break up with them immediately. And if you aren’t a sports fan, then may the force be with you.

Concert: The Bay Area is lucky to have the sexiness known as Lenny Kravitz and Raphael Saadiq at the Fox Theater on Valentine’s Day. Fellas, bring your date here and these two will do all the foreplay for you. By the time Cinna Lenny hits you with the It Ain’t Over ‘Til It’s Over make sure you already have the car running out front, because your lady should already be two slow-jams past horny.

*After writing this, I noticed that the event was sold out according to the Fox Theater website. However, tickets can still be found on StubHub if you got the money to blow-oh-oh-oh.

But for those of you who don’t, the anomaly of a producer known as Ryan Leslie will be at Ruby Skye the same night.

Lounge around: I finally got a chance to visit B. Street and Vine in San mateo, a wine bar that serves small meals and “I wanna slap somebody” bruschetta. It’s a really cute, low-key spot that has a live jazz band play during the weekends. The best part is a decent bottle of red wine will cost you just $40 and a hefty plate of bruschetta goes for $12. Plus free entertainment? Check please! (p.s. I wouldn’t suggest eating a full meal here. WIne, bruschetta, and dessert are your best bets)

And if all else fails, nothing says “I Love You” more than a home cooked meal, Netflix, and some good head.

My days have been lackluster as of late. The most exciting thing that has happened so far this week was discovering that my toaster-oven can indeed make kale chips. So these are the first world issues I encounter when I’m not wah-ing over some chump? I digress. Here’s another ‘lil update on what I’ve been eating this week.

When I’m lazy, this is breakfast. Otherwise it’s a scramble of some sort. I alternate between regular eggs and egg whites. Surprisingly, this is the best instant oatmeal I’ve tasted thus far. Even better, it has the least sugar and preservatives in comparison to Quaker Oats and other brands.

Good lookin out to StephLuva who commented suggesting that I try roasted radishes with my meals as a less starchy alternative to potatoes. I never even thought of using a radish asides from in a salad and have never cooked with them, but I’m glad I did! They’re delicious and taste so similar.

Usually I buy two different main entrees for the week, so that I can alternate between the two. This week was chicken and shrimp.

Skinless chicken breast can be really boring to eat, especially when cooked on a Foreman grill. It doesn’t taste so bad, even when you just put salt, pepper, garlic powder, and lemon. But thank God I have yummy things to eat it with (at least in my opinion) like kale! I wasn’t sure if I wanted to make kale chips or kale salad so I ended up with something in between. I don’t have an oven, but my toaster oven worked just fine.

I have absolutely NO junk food in my fridge. It drives me crazy. While I’m not that big on it anyway, it would still be nice to have the option. I’m pretty sure it’s some preventative measure I do subconsciously, because I know that if I had a gallon of ice-cream in my freezer I’d finish it during a Ru-Paul Drag Race marathon. I wanted something sweet after dinner the other day though so I had half an Asian apple-pear with agave nectar on it. Half because it took me eating half of it to realize it tasted pretty horrible.

I don’t deprive myself of anything, but if I can help it I eat healthy or try to find healthier alternatives. That way I can splurge on shit like bruschetta from B Street and Vine! I splurged on brie and apple with spicy pecans, mozzarella and tomato with basil, roasted peppers and goat cheese, my favorite – prosciutto and figs with mascarpone, tiramisu, and a bottle of Malbec.

Here’s that same shiratake recipe but with shrimp instead.

And because I had a good run I rewarded me with a cookies and cream cookie from Anthony’s Cookies kajdfklsjdlfkjsdf so good and sweet I can only eat one. OK, two at most.

I’m finally feeling 100% now, so I got back to the regular scheduled gym routine THANK FUCKING GOD. Going grocery shopping again soon, so until the next food update! And if anyone else has some healthy food recipes that are simple but delicious please feel free to share, thanks!

Please get the fuck away from me, ‘Cuz I like ur steez.
Walk in the opposite direction, Before I up and leave.
Your height. Your built. Your talk. Your fade.
Your eyes. Your smile. Please don’t let him stay.
You make me laugh, Do all the things I like.
And it scares me so much, I think I just might.
Forget your number, And that we ever met.
Let me delete it right now, Oh fuck there goes your text.
“You like the Warriors?” Shit, what do I say?
“Got floor seats to the game!” How ’bout “No fucking way”
‘Cuz ur sweet, ur nice, And get along with my friends.
Unselfish, and thoughtful, OK, this shit has to end.
Right here, right now, ‘Cuz there’s no way, no how.
I’m a tear this wall down, After it stood so proud.
‘Cuz ur nothing I hate, And everything I could love.
Loyal, smart, talented, All the above.
I’m sorry, I just can’t, There goes the door.
It’s not my fault, Blame all the men before.
I rather miss out, Than feel the pain.
Of falling in love, And getting hurt again.
You don’t want to know me, I’m no good for you.
(God, we’d be so perfect, If you only knew)
I think you could make me happy, But I don’t care to know.
I think I could love you, But I rather you go.
I want to tell you I’m scared, But instead I’ll say
Please get the fuck away from me, Just please go away.

Damn, Mariah used to be fly didn’t she? Speaking of fly though, remember those jersey-dress joints? Still one of the sexiest fashion trends in my eyes. My favorite of them all though? You already know …

“5-4-3-2-1, Carolina blue kicks …”

A few of my male friends say there is no comparable term because it doesn’t exist for women – that there should never be any reason why a horny woman goes unfucked. While I agree, I will sadly tell you that it’s real (You know what else is real? One’s vagina falling asleep. Yes, just like a foot does, but I digress). Although I’m sure it’s happened at least once before, I specifically remember one instance not too long ago where a handshake would’ve probably made me come.

*cue dream sequence music*

I hadn’t rubbed one out in ages (translation: a week) for one reason or another, and decided that it was about time. Naturally, I turned to porn and perused my favorites, YouJizz and LubeTube until I found one to my liking … or so I thought. I remember mid-way thinking, “Aw man this sucks” so I stopped and looked for another clip. That’s when it hit me. This sort of throbbing pain that I’m pretty sure was my vagina’s way of saying, “The fuck are you doing you stupid cunt?!” My vagina knows I hate the word cunt, and while I wouldn’t know exactly how blue balls feels, I’m pretty sure the male sex Gods were all high-fiving each other at that moment. So I finally handled my business and I swear the clouds spread to let the sun shine through, the birds started chirping, and rainbows appeared in the dead of night.

The end.

Now, I’ve considered violet lips, although my boy offered blue lips. Violet vagina? Chilly clit? Frio fourchet? None of them have a nice ring to it in my opinion, but perhaps that’s because none of them should exist in my opinion.

Any suggestions?

P.S. I ain’t never seen women so covered up look SO RIDICULOUSLY SEXY i.e. :33

]]> http://girlsarethenewboys.com/2012/02/03/tgif-3/feed/ 0 doowaditty http://girlsarethenewboys.com/2012/02/03/whats-inside-my-whore-kit/ http://girlsarethenewboys.com/2012/02/03/whats-inside-my-whore-kit/#comments Fri, 03 Feb 2012 08:00:45 +0000 doowaditty http://girlsarethenewboys.com/?p=8216 Continue reading →]]>

A while ago I wrote this post about the infamous “Whore Kit,” which I’ve recently learned can also aptly be called a “Shag Bag” (thanks mom *smh*). Soon after, it became an inside joke amongst me and my girlfriends and Ren ended up buying all of us one, God bless her. Most of the stuff ran out, but I kept the concept alive. While cleaning my room, I came across it and decided to share it with you ala “What’s In Your Bag?” but on ecstasy. Happy to say I got a lot of mileage on this baby (all with the SAME guy mind you). Sad to say, all I use it for now are those unexpected sleepovers at my girls house.

1) Lancome makeup bag: I only buy two things from Lancome: mascara, and makeup remover. The last time I bought some they had a special that included a bunch of free shit that included this (now that I look at it, ugly) thing. However, this is where the magic happens.

2) Lancome Renergie: One of the free samples that came with the bag, I use this as moisturizer, because the size makes it convenient to carry around. Just because I’m dehydrating my skin with massive amounts of alcohol, doesn’t mean I can’t take care of it afterwards.

3) AcneFree On The Spot Treatment: Not necessary, but I added this because there’s been a few times where a huge zit was on the verge of forming and I needed something to calm it the fuck down. A pimple with its own pulse is the last thing I want the man I’m sleeping with to see the morning after.

4) An assortment of sanitary items: Because you just never fucking know, and better to be safe than leaking on someone’s sheets *shudders at the thought*.

5) Hair-tie and bobby-pins: So that I can make an attempt to tame my sex hair and look like I didn’t just get fucked into New Hampshire as I leave the premises.

6) A comb: See above. Although my friends know I rarely brush my hair. I know, I know, such the lady.

7) Laura Mercier tinted moisturizer: I bought some Tarte tinted moisturizer at Sephora, and they gave me this sample from Laura Mercier. It’s perfect to carry with me and dabble on so the guy I’m seeing doesn’t kiss a corpse good-bye, without me looking like I’m headed back to the club we came from.

8) Toothpaste & toothbrush: No explanation necessary. All I gotta say is I love the toiletry section at Target.

9) A condom: I know this makes me look like a whore, I mean hello! This post is about my “Whore” Kit. But at least I’m a responsible one. I’ve actually had the same pack of condoms unused since I bought them last year around my birthday. I never had to use them because the men I saw were always packin (thank-you guys by the way), but I figured they can never NOT come in handy.

And there you have it. With the exception of face/body wipes, these are the items I always have in my kit. Feel free to share yours if you dare!

P.S. A while ago a friend tweeted what a “whorekit” would consist of for men to which I replied …