Category Archives: Sex

There are only two times right before/during sex when you have my complete and undivided attention: when I’m too obliterated to have a thought, or if I actually like you. Otherwise, my ADD kicks in and I am thinking about … Continue reading →

When you have over 10 girls on one thread you end up waking up to 75 text messages of absolute fuckery. Just the other week, Nikko sent a text complaining about how stank her BART ride was. Naturally, it resulted … Continue reading →

I know I wrote this post about my booty-call requirements, but I’d like to take this time to update the contract. Although adhering to it is “safe,” it also feels kinda, sorta, a lot weird. Just because I like to fuck, … Continue reading →

Haven’t done a disclaimer in a while, but to any members of my family: STOP READING NOW. Nope, not exactly what you think. Close though. I discovered masturbation at an earlier age than I’d like to admit. I don’t remember … Continue reading →

My vagina is currently going through a bout of depression due to its lack of penis. It’s been almost eight months since I last felt the weight of a naked man on top of me *wipes tear from eye* and … Continue reading →

I’ve recently discovered the convenience of watching porn on my iPhone. Funny how it freezes during group texts, yet runs perfectly during double penetration scenes. Speaking of DP (like that smooth transition there?), I’ve come to realize that I have … Continue reading →

For me, a penis is a penis, is a penis. As long as there’s nothing green oozing from it and can get the job done, I’m an equal opportunity employer. However, it’s come to my attention that women in 2013 … Continue reading →

I’ve been having a lot of dirty dreams lately. About people I don’t even like, and one that could possible be a figment of my imagination. Some of them are so vivid, I wake up feeling embarrassed as shit looking … Continue reading →