Dear Abi | girlsarethenewboys.com

The other day I saw my boy Cat’s loopt and there was a picture that looked a little pornographic to me so I asked him wtf it was and he replied: “Peanut butter toast with condensed milk, tofu fa with brown sugar, and papaya with ice cream,” to which I replied, “WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT PLACE AND WHEN ARE WE GOING?”

So now me and the folks have a dessert date for Kowloon Tong and I cannot wait!

I’m going to try and squeeze in another blog of substance before I leave but considering I can’t even do one when I have the time, that will be highly unlikely. But in case u didn’t know, me and these other lovelies will be leaving for Vancouver tomorow to stalk the New Moon set but most importantly, to have a good time with other beautiful, talented, and successful women. Girl power indeed, no homo. See yall next week!

This one’s gonna be a quicky since I didn’t even intend on blogging today – BUT I just came across this picture of the ever so beautiful Samoan/Black Adonis – The Rock, and JUST HAD to post it. I had the hugest crush on this dude during his wrestling days and even bought a cheesy ass wrestling poster of him in h.s., People’s eyebrow intact and erthang. I must admit, he looks more delicious today than ever, despite the receding hairline. I can’t even get past that big ass bicep and smile to notice it.

Last night the West Coast WTForks fam got it poppin at the Hellz party at 330 Ritch. Nothin but pretty people, good music, and alcohol. Tonight it’s Boss for Iya’s bday. Then, the WTFancouver trip in 5 days.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

If u know me, then u know of my mom. And if u know of my mom, then u’ll know that she wasn’t exactly the best mother to me growing up. Needless to say I still love her and she makes me crack the fuck up sometimes even if it’s at my own expense.

The other day me and the bf were comparing notes on our childhood. We both started walking before we turned 1. Both were potty-trained around 2. So then for kicks I decided to call my mom and ask when I started talking.

Why did she say in the surest voice ever: 8!

Dude.

For real?

8?

As in 3rd grade 8? As in I would’ve been riding the short bus and in a “special” class 8?

I vividly remember being the first in my kindergarten class to read a book OUTLOUD during show and tell. So I tell my mom, “MOM it couldn’t have been 8 ‘cuz I was already talking in kinder,” so she goes, “Oh yah ur right not 8, 6-8 months.”

OK, so now I’m baby genius?

I shake my head and secretly apologize to God on behalf of my mom for being a bad liar and neglectful parent and just tell her, “Never mind!” aka in my head, “Just say it mom, u don’t know.”

Then she replies, “Ask Mommy-Nina.”

Yes, I should asked my grandma to begin with.

Moral of the story? Moms, please be there for ur kids especially when they’re growing up ‘cuz u don’t want them to be the only 8-year old that doesn’t know how to talk and u def don’t want them putting u on blast when they’re old enough to blog.

If I had a penis I’d have the biggest boner over these right now.

Christian Louboutin’s “Rolando” is hot pink satin

Christian Louboutin’s “Dillian” in beige python

(You guessed it) Christian Louboutin’s “Differa” in ice blue patten leather

And my favorite of them all, Balmain sandals.

Matter fact, who do I gotta give a blowjob to ’round here to get this entire outfit?

Love, love, love it. Love the original one more though, just a little bit though ;o)

Reading my hayati’s previous blog reminded me of this one!
Written Tuesday, June 13, 2006

I talk SHIT – I don’t HATE, so get it right LOL.

And even then, there ain’t nothin I don’t say about someone that I haven’t already said in their face. Plus, is it really talkin shit if it’s true? Aren’t we just reiterating the facts? Oh who the fuck am I kidding?

Unless ur name is Amelia Hadi, u talk shit too so don’t even try to front.

Quite frankly, if me and u got beef it’s ‘cuz of some well-justified PERSONAL shit, not no he-said she-said “I seen ur man talkin to her at the water fountain” booshit. Moreoever, if I have ill-feelins towards u, it ain’t gonna erase the fact that I acknowledge ur intelligence or talent, nor will u all of a sudden be “ugly” when I know damn well u break necks at the club.

With that said, I’ve been browsing through random blogs and sadly enough it seems as if there is a whole lotta “hatin” going on. Even more unfortunate, it’s always amongst us females.

Oh and if ur one of these females who write about hatin and the progression of women, yet are the first ones to roll ur eyes at me when I come thru the spot please peep someone else’s blog. That’s just tacky. I get hated on a lot and back when I was ignant, it hurt…until I realized “haterism” stems from an evil called jealousy. Bitches, do u really wanna give me that much credit?

One of the chicks from the BB$ click said, If u ain’t gettin hated on, then u ain’t doin shit.” Halle-luh-juh. And my girl Faye said something along the lines of, “If someone doesn’t like u, they won’t be happy until ur sad.” Amen.

To me, hatin is the act of talking about someone in a negavtive connotation FOR NO APPARENT REASON or motive. It’s one thing to openly admit this ‘cuz shit, am I hatin ‘cuz Paris Hilton is a rich talentless bitch that’s famous for the mere fact that she is famous? Hell to the yes. But would I trade places with her? Not for a million hotel chains. However, it’s a disgrace to your very womanhood if you make it a point in ur life to constantly find reasons to hate someone, moreover, create reasons for other people to hate someone just because you’re insecure with yourself. I’ll admit it, talking shit is funny as hell but there’s a thin line between people watching at the mall and asking for a beatdown – DON’T CROSS IT.

EVERYONE is competitive by nature. But if we didn’t already know, at one point in our lives (At least I’d like to hope for the rest of yall) us grown folk come to realize that if we spent more time challenging ourselves to better ourselves for (U guessed it) OURSELVES and not just to be better than ur man’s ex-girlfriend, or the bitch who could’ve been ur best friend in another lifetime – we would not only be more productive and successful, but more confident and happy as well.

See that fly-chick in the corner of the room with a pearly white smile on her face, bangin body with a bangin degree to match that everybody including u AND ur man is looking at? She ain’t worried about u staring her up and down thinking “Fuck that bitch and her fake titties she’s probably a ho.” Why? ‘Cuz she’s too busy trying to balance her lucrative modeling career with her upcoming graduate school schedule.

Got the point? Good.

I once read a MySpace headline that read, “The only thing unique about u is ur personality.” CHUCH’

We can rock the illest kicks, dopest fits, change up the hair, and occasionally switch up the jewelry errr now and then but no matter how fuckin original u think u are, there’s someone out there on the other side of the world, or other side of the city for that matter, that is doing the same exact thing or has already done it 9 years ago. And why try to compete with looks when u can’t change the color of ur eyes to make it greener than “hers,” or change the plumpness of ur lips to make it jucier than “hers” (Cosmetic surgery aside). And like Kanye said “The prettiest people do the ugliest things,”.

Fuuuck, what do I do when I see someone pretty with big ass titties? Ask them to join K.O. Queenz and beg for her to spread the wealth. (Just ask Ness haha).

And if they can femcee? Ask them how they got enough guts to perform on stage or join the cypha. And if they sing? Ask them to teach me how to harmonize. And if they dance? Ask them how to tip drill in a tasteful manner (Is that even possible? Haha). And if they got a 6-pack? Ask them how they discipline themselves from not eating Krispy Kreme at 2 in the morning. And if they got their masters? Congratulate the shit outta them! And if they’re Justene Jaro? Tell them “I hate u, u pretty AND sweet bitch!” ;oP

Not to get all “Superwoman I don’t need a man, they’re all dogs!” on yall (‘Cuz we know that beside every great woman is a great man and vice versa) but ladies remember, “It’s a man’s world, but women make it go ’round.” Some men are counting on catty ass females to remain oblivious to this ideal so that they will forever question their self-worth and ability to function in a state of normalcy without a man in their life!!! Also so that when u catch them cheatin on u, u’ll place the blame solely on “The other woman” (Who was probably just as much as a victim as u were) and not the actual person who made a commitment to them. Come on now ladies!!!

And if u weren’t aware of all this? It’s probably ‘cuz u was too busy hatin.

I realized today that before walking into a stall at the restrooms at work I SLOWLY open the stall door as if bracing myself for whatever madness MAY lurk within. I almost creep into it, so that I don’t walk full force, straight into a clogged toilet or floating cockaroach. Am I the only one that takes this precaution?

OMFG this You Chube clip had me dying just now. I don’t know what could be funnier than a little, white, chub, red-headed kid bustin moves to the Yin-Yang twins. I LURVE him! I want to put him in my pocket and save him for a rainy day. I don’t know how the camera man held in his laughter.